To paraphrase ScoMo, how good is it to be an Aussie? We’re such a top bunch of inclusive champions, and jeez, don’t we love our laid-back lifestyle? Go Sharks…

This is a lame caricature of Australians, and, I’d contest, a mostly inaccurate one. Laid back? Most Aussies would agree, when really pressed on the subject, that we’re one of the most heavily regulated societies in the Western world. Want to share a glass of champagne on New Years Eve at a Sydney Harbourside vantage point? No chance, you’re in an alcohol-free zone; tip it out or be ejected. Walking your dog on a beach at dawn? Here’s a $360 fine. Your speed drifted up to 111km/h on a straight, deserted country road on a long weekend? That’s half your licence gone.

Many of us – at least those of us not named Karen – may have been born with the laid-back gene, but the officials we elect to govern us seem steadfastly determined to stamp it out.

So when car talk swings onto the subject of autonomous vehicles, it’s not only the huge technical challenges of self driving that I find fascinating, but also the regulatory framework involved. A stroll through a minefield would be simpler and potentially less fraught.

autos, cars, opinions, opinion: self driving regulations won't allow full autonomy soon

It’s safe to say having a quick snooze while your car navigates through busy Saturday-morning traffic and parks you in a multi-storey car park is not just around the corner. I’ll probably be down for the big dirt nap before it’s a reality.

As consumers, we’ve been conditioned to believe that if we see a technology in the developmental phase, we simply assume it will take roughly the gestation period of a rabbit before it makes it into mainstream production. The evening news burps up a story on a bunch of university students who’ve modified a car that can self-drive around a few witches hats in the car park, and Joe Average just shrugs, and says to his missus, “I guess our next car won’t even have a steering wheel…”

But, surprise, Joe: achieving full autonomy is proving to be way harder than even some of finest minds ever envisioned. And not just because of the technical challenges. A pesky issue called ethics is arguably an even bigger hurdle to overcome.

autos, cars, opinions, opinion: self driving regulations won't allow full autonomy soon

But let’s backtrack for a moment. Are self-driving cars even a good idea in the first place? Well, if you’re a tech company or a major automotive manufacturer, this is the modern-day equivalent of the space race, where the first one to properly crack it gets to sail the rivers of gold. And if you’re an octogenarian with failing eyesight who’s about to be denied renewal of their driver’s licence, it could represent life-changing mobility and independence.

But what about you or me, who consider ourselves driving enthusiasts? Personally, I reckon at least half my typical daily driving comprises a traffic-infected slog that’s about as fun as waterboarding, where I’d happily hand over the controls and do something more relaxing or productive.

But to get back to my original point: here in over-regulated Australia, can any of us really see that becoming a reality in our lifetimes? Imagine yourself in your shiny new Level 5 autonomous vehicle, in medium-density traffic crossing Melbourne’s Westgate bridge. You’re behind the wheel, but you’re reclined way back and both hands are holding your iPad as you watch Formula One qualifying on Fox Sports.

autos, cars, opinions, opinion: self driving regulations won't allow full autonomy soon

Alongside, two highway patrol officers glance over, then go straight back to talking about the old lady they booked for perished wiper blades.

Really? In rule-ridden, authoritarian Australia? I seriously doubt it. So far our regulators haven’t had to get too involved in the legalities of self-driving, but when they do, why would we expect anything other than an ultra-conservative approach that maybe, at best, limits Level 4 or 5 autonomy only to motorways, and only to a speed lower than the national limit?

Which might be a useful adjunct for some, but hardly moves the autonomy thing on significantly from where we are currently.

I can see the campaign: “Keep your hands on the wheel, Aussies. Oi Oi Oi.”

autos, cars, opinions, opinion: self driving regulations won't allow full autonomy soon

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