Thou shalt not…
SKIMP ON RESEARCH
Due diligence is the key to swerving a rotter and possibly paying over the odds. In the past this involved either subscribing to the trade bible Glass’s Guide or spending hours and hours trudging through dog-eared copies of Auto Trader magazine.
Now, the internet is your most trusted ally.
Make sure you’re totally au fait with the full gamut of model derivations of the motor you’re interested in. See what actual cars sold for on auction sites (very different to asking prices). Armed with the reg number, make and model see what ‘webuyanyoldjaloppy’ would offer you on a straight sale of the car you haven’t bought yet to give you an idea of bottom book value. There are also websites out there that list all official manufacturer’s recalls of the car you’re interested in. Definitely worth double checking that the recalls were adhered to.
Example? Early Nissan Micras won’t start if they’re parked on a steep hill because of an issue with the pick-up pipe’s positioning in the fuel tank.
The more time you spend on research the harder you can bargain. Knowledge is power.
UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF NATURAL DAYLIGHT
There’s a very good reason that artist’s studios are flooded with natural daylight. It’s the best way to truly study colour, shade, hue and texture. It’s just the same for viewing a second-hand car.
It might be seldom seen in British winter months but there is really no substitute for strong natural daylight if you want to spot any bodywork horrors be it a change in paint texture, dints and ripples on a panel or any bubbles or blemishes.
There are some really powerful LED hand-held torches on the market at the moment for not much money. These are the governor for checking brake pad thickness, peering in arches, under sills and engine bays. The worst thing you can do is view a car in failing light whilst its raining. Darkness and water cover a multitude of sins and the ten commandments is all about sins, isn’t it?
IGNORE THE PAPERWORK
I like to take at least an hour alone and undistracted with a car’s paperwork history. I like to actually ring the dealer’s whose stamps appear in the service book. I like to cross tally the paper MOT dates and mileages with DVLA’s electronic history.
Obviously, the holy grail is a service book full of main dealer’s stamps (so you know everything that has been needed has been done using factory approved parts and consumables) but as you hunt lower down in the used car gene pool, this is usually a rarity.
When you’re conducting paperwork foresnics keep telling yourself it’s very easy to ‘clock’ a car with a digital speedo and it’s also very easy to order and obtain a ‘dealer’s’ stamp for unscrupulous service book back-dating.
VIEW A CAR ANYWHERE BUT THE VENDOR’S HOUSE
I broke this commandment once when I was nineteen and upon discovering I’d bought two cars welded together (badly) I then went to seek recompense from the seller using his details recorded on the V5. Surprise, surprise the house was derelict and empty.
Let’s face it, there’s nothing like someone’s house to gain a first impression of them and how they conduct their lives. Critical information if you’re about to buy something off them. A case in point: Last year I went to look at an American Ford F150 of 1970s vintage. The house’s bedroom curtains were still closed at 11am and the seller wasn’t answering his phone or his doorbell. His path to the front door still bore the gastric evidence of his previous evening’s over indulgences.
This, in turn, summed up the chaotic contents in the pick-up bed and the cab. I turned back around, got in my car and drove off. Which bring me neatly to my next commandment…
FEEL DUTY BOUND TO BUY JUST BECAUSE YOU’VE TRAVELLED A LONG DISTANCE
Knowing when to walk is a time-served skill and, admittedly, it is very difficult especially if you cost out the price of your viewing trip.
But when price doesn’t match value, condition doesn’t match description and your waters tell you to bail. Listen to them. Your gut instinct is always your friend.
GO ALONE
Good cop, bad cop is a hard game to play on your tod unless you’re clinically schizophrenic. Much better to take a friend with you to view, particularly if they’re a seasoned and cynical motor mechanic. If your friend-pool doesn’t extend to the motor trade it doesn’t matter – an extra pair of eyes is always a better way to see the trees from the wood.
INSPECT A WARM CAR
It’s crucial when you’re teeing up your first viewing to insist that the car is stone-cold when you arrive. This will assure several things, not least how the car performs the cold-start routine which can quickly flush out a lazy battery or an errant starter motor.
Being hewn from either cast iron or, if it’s relatively modern and high-end, aluminium, an engine’s block is subject to a fair degree of expansion as it goes through its heat cycle.
From cold, all tolerances within the engine will be at their biggest and if you’re going to hear any erroneous clonks, rattles or knocks now is the time when the gaps between bearings and cylinders will be at their maximum.
Also from cold, troublesome consumables like valve guide oil seals will be at their worst. Look for puffs of blue smoke (don’t confuse this with the clear steam of condensation) from the tail pipe on cold start up for an early sign of their imminent demise.
FAIL TO TEST DRIVE
You’d have to be mad not to insist on a test drive before you hand over your readies. Make sure you drive it on a route that means you can select all the gears – full throttle in top gear will test the healthiness of the clutch – and make sure you throw in some bumpy, badly surfaced road to listen out for any tell-tale clonks and thumps from the suspension and steering mechanism. Fortunately, in the UK, badly surfaced rods are readily available. An emergency stop will also quickly give the whole braking system an instant fitness check.
A vendor reluctant to allow a test drive, even if you only request a test drive from the passenger seat, is a vendor not to be trusted.
IGNORE PAINT (AT YOUR PERIL)
It’s no biggie if someone’s obviously had some bonnet stone chips blown over but what I’m talking about is evidence of a cover-up job of something potentially more sinister. Maybe your HPI check (crucial) showed the car had never been an insurance loss but not every accident is reported because some people deem their NCB as too important to sully with a claim.
You really need to study all four corners and look for evidence of suspiciously new paint, badly matched paint or badly applied paint. Overspray is a bodger’s calling card. Study window rubbers with a fine toothed comb for evidence of bad masking. Tyre black is also used extensively in the trade to disguise overspray. Use your nose, too. New paint smells of new paint for a few weeks.
If a car’s had new panels or the paint on one door looks a bit newer, a bit shinier than the others you need to scrutinize the panel gaps. Are they equal? Are they the same as the other side?
If something doesn’t quite feel right don’t be afraid to pop open the bonnet or boot to check the paint in there too.
If you spot an anomaly ask the seller. Scrutinize the response forensically.
IGNORE THE SUM OF THE WHOLE
A true detective processes all the available information and facts to arrive at an informed opinion.
Depending on the price bracket and the area of the market your budget has led you to this whole picture will vary but the essence is the same. You need to be comfortable that you’re paying fair money for a car that contains no hidden surprises and by surprises I mean costs.
I’ve got a mechanic friend who always insists that people get too hung up by mileage. This, he insists, is not what matters. What really matters is that the car has been looked after by people who have cared and could afford to put things right when they needed putting right and could afford to have the vehicle serviced as and when it needed it.
Neglect is a costly killer with cars.
Happy shopping!
Keyword: My Ten Commandments for buying a used car