Waking up to glorious bright sunshine with the birds merrily chirping away, the day ahead was getting off to a very encouraging start, reinforced by a particularly amusing 1957 episode of Hancock’s Half Hour that I hadn’t heard for some years being broadcast on Radio 4 Extra during my coffee and croissant. Contently heading off northbound in the car for a late-morning meeting in Hertfordshire, my good mood continued as not only had I managed to just miss the worst of the morning rush hour traffic.
Making unexpectedly smooth headway ahead of schedule around the M25, my chipper mood was suddenly shattered and my day spoiled, by a very unwelcome sight. Crawling along at a snails’ pace and inexplicably hogging one of the centre lanes with nothing to pass in the inside lane was one of my few absolute ‘hate cars,’ appropriately painted in a drab shade of beige; a tatty and unforgivably dull Daewoo Nubira.
In the understandably likely event that you’ve forgotten, the Daewoo Nubira was a tediously dreary late-90s mid-size saloon; a low point that did absolutely nothing to further the cause of motoring or a make a worthwhile contribution to the history of the motor car. In summary, a pointless and worthless waste of metal, plastic and rubber.
As an avid car enthusiast that counts decent dynamics and appealing aesthetics as the basic essentials for any vehicle, I still find this Daewoo totally unacceptable, even now, a quarter-of-a-century after this dull machine’s original 1997 Geneva Salon debut. It was a cynical ‘lowest common denominator’ excuse for family transportation that made most white goods seem interesting by comparison.
This yawn-a-mile excuse for a car was as memorable, exciting and engaging as a budget brand fridge-freezer, dishwasher or microwave oven, the latter still produced by the domestic goods division of Daewoo. Quite what would possess anyone to want to have bought one of these is a complete mystery to me, and unsurprisingly, during its short five-year lifespan (1997-2002) few new car buyers did, despite this festering motorised pile being cheap, if not very cheerful. The underwhelming Nubira superseded the dynamically inept but visually more arresting Espero of 1991-97. This earlier medium-segment Daewoo saloon entry was at least easy on the eye with accomplished Bertone wedged styling and a poor-man’s Citroen XM hint about it.
For the Espero’s replacement, Daewoo stuck with the Italian design masters, although forgoing Bertone in favour of ‘styling’ by I.DE.A. of Turin. I.DE.A. had some promising earlier form, it being the author of the characterful Alfa Romeo 155, plus the distinctive 1989 Fiat Tipo and delightfully quirky Daihatsu Move. One can therefore only imagine that the I.DE.A. studio’s design team must have created the Nubira on an off-day, maybe after a heavy office party or meeting in the garden, given just how muuhhh this unremarkable creation was with its curious side panel ‘sculpturing’ and overall unremarkable design.
Seemingly powered by apathy and sludge, its South Korean engineers took a break from creating exciting new microwave solutions to raid the General Motors Europe skip. Its pick of the Vauxhall-Opel parts bin runoff was a cast-off Cavalier running gear for its unremarkable new mid-sized saloon. Like putting lipstick on a pig, they even had the nerve to introduce an equally dreadful five-door station wagon variant as well, although mercifully, the Nubira Estate wasn’t quite as offensive, pointless or bland as its misshaped saloon sibling.
When it came to faceless family conveyances in the late 1990s though, the hopeless Nobo’butter didn’t quite have the monopoly on the new car market as many other instantly forgettable motorised none-entities existed in that same era too. These included the duller-than-watching-paint-dry Volkswagen Vento, along with the why-bother Daihatsu Applause, Toyota Avensis, Vauxhall Sintra and inappropriately-named Mitsubishi Carisma.
Along with the irritating Nubira, these dullards were such duds that you’ll be understandably forgiven to even recall what these boring motorised boxes looked like. I wouldn’t bother wasting your time Googling them though as life’s far too short. You’ll only be underwhelmed and might inadvertently nod off into your cuppa through boredom. Suffice to say, most of them probably ended their dreary existences serving as cheap and dodgy minicabs on the seafronts of rundown faded coastal resorts across the UK.
Mid-sized family saloons are now rapidly becoming a thing of the past due to today’s 30-something families being more attracted to equally tedious and ‘they-all-look-the-same’ crossover SUVs. A happy side effect is that with any luck we shall be spared the future misery of such unpalatably dreary cars as the Daewoo Nubira.
Given the nerve and audacity to offer such a below-par vehicle, it will come as no surprise to learn that Daewoo ultimately went under as a car maker, doing the world a great favour in the process. Its microwave ovens aren’t too bad though – they simply ping, rather than pong. Do you have any all-time hate cars? Let us know…
Keyword: Why I hate the Daewoo Nubira | Axon's Automotive Anorak