Satire

Newest F1 team confirms plans to avoid winning, and just follow car in front really closely

audi to spend next decade in formula one aggressively tailgating

Here’s TopGear.com’s roving correspondent, Cory Spondent, with his mostly incorrect exclusives from the world of motoring

Audi will spend the next decade in Formula One aggressively tailgating the car in front, sources have confirmed.

Following the seismic news that it will join the top tier of global motorsport, company bosses admitted they had little interest in winning, but instead pledged to dedicate its considerable engineering know-how and years of motorsport success to keeping its cars less than 10cm away from the car in front.

“Formula One’s new technical regulations, designed to allow cars to follow more closely, mean our drivers – like all of our customers across the globe – will be able to aggressively tailgate the car in front for an uncomfortable amount of time. Winning doesn’t matter, but infuriating other drivers across an entire season does,” an Audi spokesperson said.

“We believe Formula One is a perfect fit for the brand, and our customers will benefit hugely as we push the invasion of other road users’ personal space to new limits.”

The team’s new F1 car will feature a revolutionary new engine layout by attaching the V6 onto the front wing “like classic quattro models of old”, and the spokesperson noted how other elements of F1’s rulebook – specifically around the lack of indicators –“really resonated with our customers, who have never used them on the road”.

Sources added the company would be lobbying the sport’s chiefs to add extraordinarily bright LED headlights to future F1 cars, “because how else would the driver in front know our car was there?”

Keyword: Audi to spend next decade in Formula One aggressively tailgating

CAR'S NEWS RELATED

The audience you can reach on TopAuto

TopAuto has a large audience of over 565,000 South African monthly readers who enjoy its high-quality motoring content. It has grown a massive 3,000% since its launch in 2020 and is now South Africa’s leading automotive news website. Click here to learn more about advertising on TopAuto. It is ...

View more: The audience you can reach on TopAuto

2022 Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI S tronic Review : Power Play

2022 Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI S tronic Review : Power Play Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI – inside All is good? Now allow me to throw the spanner in the works Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI S tronic 2022 Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI S tronic Review : ...

View more: 2022 Audi A3 Sportback 1.0 TFSI S tronic Review : Power Play

Audi Malaysia launches #ReadyToDrive initiative – 20% off parts & labour

PHS Automotive Malaysia (PHSAM), the official distributor of Audi in Malaysia, has launched its new #ReadyToDrive customer care initiative. It is the first aftersales initiative by PHSAM since representing the Audi brand in Malaysia. The #ReadyToDrive initiative by Audi Malaysia focuses on safety, reliability, and peace of mind for ...

View more: Audi Malaysia launches #ReadyToDrive initiative – 20% off parts & labour

All-new 2023 Toyota Vios (D92A) launched in Saudi Arabia with Myvi's 1.3L engine!

Image source: Mechanic1553 Here goes the all-new 2022 on its worldwide adventure, and this week it landed in the hot scapes of Saudi Arabia (sold there as the Yaris); replacing its long-overdue predecessor and to refresh the fight against the and . Though safety and creature comfort kits differ ...

View more: All-new 2023 Toyota Vios (D92A) launched in Saudi Arabia with Myvi's 1.3L engine!

Audi Malaysia introduces #ReadyToDrive campaign

KUALA LUMPUR: PHS Automotive Malaysia (PHSAM) has announced its #ReadyToDrive campaign with a focus on safety, reliability and peace of mind for Audi owners. This marks the first aftersales initiative by PHSAM since representing the Audi brand for wholesale, marketing and aftersales in Malaysia in July 2022. The #ReadyToDrive ...

View more: Audi Malaysia introduces #ReadyToDrive campaign

Alfa's new baby! 2023 Alfa Romeo Tonale price and specs: New small SUV to rival Audi Q3, Volvo XC40 and Mercedes-Benz GLA

The Alfa Tonale is set to go head to head with small SUVs like the Audi Q3, Volvo XC40, and Mercedes GLA. Alfa Romeo’s long-awaited new SUV, the Tonale, is now available to order in Australia with pricing for its two-variant range now confirmed. Set to arrive in Australian ...

View more: Alfa's new baby! 2023 Alfa Romeo Tonale price and specs: New small SUV to rival Audi Q3, Volvo XC40 and Mercedes-Benz GLA

Audi's Next R8 Will Be an EV Called Rnext: Sources

Porsche Batteries, Slim Packaging Branding Is Everything The lack of high-performance-sports-car plans is glaring at Audi, but Car and Driver has learned that an EV replacement for the R8 is in the works. Don’t get too anxious, though: the launch date for this new model, currently called the Rnext, ...

View more: Audi's Next R8 Will Be an EV Called Rnext: Sources

2023 Audi R8 GT RWD Has More Horsepower, More Ways to Spin the Tires

What’s Special about the Special Edition Rear Drive, Now with More Slip-N-Slide Lighter Side For 2023 Audi will offer 333 special-edition RWD R8 GTs. The Audi R8 GT RWD gets a bump in power for its 5.2-liter V-10, from 562 to 602 hp. To better manage wheel slip from ...

View more: 2023 Audi R8 GT RWD Has More Horsepower, More Ways to Spin the Tires

New Audi TT RS Coupe iconic edition revealed with £87,650 price tag

Audi R8 V10 GT RWD revealed – finally an answer to the Porsche 911 GT3?

New Audi R8 V10 GT RWD unveiled as firm’s most focused road car

Audi TT RS Iconic Edition debuts

Audi R8 V10 GT RWD marks end of the road for V-10 engine

Audi R8 V10 GT RWD Revealed As The Supercar’s Swan Song

The 611bhp R8 GT is Audi’s goodbye to V10 supercars

The Audi TT RS ‘iconic edition’ is a five-cylinder celebration of the TT

Audi RS3 Drag Race Pits Latest Mk3 Model Against Its Predecessors

Review: 2023 Audi Q4 E-Tron SUV and Sportback go for practicality more than punch

2022 Audi Q4 50 e-tron Is the Electric Answer to Entry-Level Audi Luxury

Audi Malaysia's #ReadyToDrive Initiative Saves You 20% On Servicing And Parts

OTHER CAR NEWS

;
Breaking thailand news, thai news, thailand news Verified News Story Network TopCarNews France | Actualités et Salons Automobiles, Fiches Techniques, Photos et Magazine Auto