Photo: Craigslist
You ever have one of those weeks that feels like a decade? Here we are on April 22, yet April 15 happened sometime in the late nineties. I’m sixty years old now, I think, longing to sit in a rocking chair out on a temperate porch and drink sweet tea.
There’s an advantage, though, to those weeks that take eons: They give you plenty of time to shop for cars. I’ve put that time to good use, I think, in scouring the Internet for a truly eclectic collection of its Dopest Cars.
Photo: Craigslist
Normally, in the spirit of the word “cars” in the headline, I try to mainly populate this list with vehicles that run and drive. This first generation Jetta does neither. It’s really more a collection of car parts than a true car, yet it leads off our list this week. Why?
Well, because it rules, that’s why. This Jetta has a full roll cage, chassis bracing, a fuel cell, and the kind of all-grille front end that Lexus wishes it could pull off. Plus, the partially swapped-in motor up front is no other than the venerable VAG 1.8 turbo. 1.8T Never Lose, my friends.
Photo: Craigslist
Continuing in the spirit of “cars that would usually not end up in Dopest,” we have this Isuzu Faster. Its listing has two images and a phone number, and neither shot shows the whole car. We get no sign of the interior, let alone the undercarriage, but what we do see is damaged. Off to a great start.
Despite that, the Start really is good. This Isuzu is a long-bed pickup (or a “long beb.” to quote the seller) with a diesel engine under the hood. That’s the prime configuration for a pickup, an the work-truck beige of this Faster just adds to the character. Look at this little guy. How can you say no to that face?
Photo: Craigslist
When I was a yute, approaching licensing age, I often shopped for Firebirds. Something about that snout, the massive intakes between the headlights, always drew me in. I never ended up buying a Trans Am, but maybe one’s on the table someday.
This Trans Am, however, is on the table for you right now. It’s red — the fastest color — and features those two gaping intakes I loved to much as a teen. The Craigslist ad also features photos of a house, a Cayenne Turbo, and a screenshot of an already-sold fishing boat, so clearly this is a seller motivated to get rid of some stuff. At least, that’s the best reasoning I can come up with. Maybe you can talk them down.
Photo: Craigslist
Yamaha Ténéré 700, my beloved. Since I first saw the FortNine review of the T7, I’ve wanted one. This was the bike in my head when I bought my baby GS, the bike I hoped to work my way up to. The Trans Am above is a nebulous want, something to maybe someday consider. The T7, I will own. Or, at least, test ride.
This, however, will probably not be the one. It’s located in California, a state known for its lack of me, and getting back would either be an incredible road trip or a major hassle. Plus, I’ve never really been a fan of the high front fender look.
Man, that would be such a fun road trip back though. Lalita, if you’re editing this, can I expense a Ténéré and gas to get it back from California? I’ll reimburse Jalopnik with whatever my BMW sells for. Editors note: Steven, I wanted to initially answer “yes” so to throw you off, because as we both know when you wrote that note in that you were not going to get a yes. Plus, we’re more likely to reimburse someone like me for my $500 project bike than for something over eleven-thousand American dollars! But, props to you, and the rest of our team, for collectively asking for over $40,000 in vehicles to expense today.
Photo: Craigslist
This Fiesta ST is another sparse ad, but it’s a car we all know — hatchback, four turbocharged cylinders, six manually-shifted speeds. It’s a lightweight, angry little jelly bean of performance. We know. As long as your ad gives us a good idea of the car’s condition, we’re pretty set.
The condition here, conveniently, seems good. White cars aren’t the easiest to keep clean, but this one’s spotless — it’s likely been cared for. The interior looks immaculate, though the floor mats seem to be installed sideways. As far as project cars go, that’s not a bad fix.
Photo: Craigslist
Taking your listing photos at golden hour, on a beach in front of the Pacific Ocean, is cheating. This Westfalia, however, was shot during blue hour—no cheating detected, perfectly legitimate ad. That, or they just missed golden hour by accident like I did when taking promo shots of Postcards from the End of the World.
This ad may only have one photo, but the van has enough accessories to keep my interest piqued. A pop-up tent is typical Westfalia fare, but Fox shocks and a solar setup are rarer finds. There’s gold in them there farkles.
Photo: Craigslist
Putting Dopest together every week involves a lot of scrolling Craigslist. That means an endless sea of Camries, eyes glazing over as they’re forced to perceive Murano after Murano. But once in a while, something just instantly cuts through the visual noise. This, dear reader, is one of those somethings.
This is a deeply seventies truck in a deeply seventies color, and that’s a winning combination. As a person with a deep appreciation for green (this truck almost matches my Telecaster) I instantly knew this would be a contender for this week’s slides. Look at it! It’s perfect!
Photo: Craigslist
I rewatched the first Initial D Legend movie the other night, so now I’m all hopped up on RX-7 race cars. Yes, this SCCA-prepped FC is a far cry from the Rotary Brothers’ rides, but I think Keisuke and Ryosuke would appreciate it. It’s lightweight, purpose-built, and has a big wing.
For those of us in the real world, this FC also meets some of those more boring racing needs. The brakes are new, meaning they’ll likely last you a few events, and the tires claim to be of a similar age. It even includes a trailer, because good luck getting this thing registered in its native California.
Photo: Craigslist
We love a classic car owner with a sense of humor. Not someone who’s all concerned about their investment, someone who can’t let the barest hit of a smile crack their stiff upper lip, but someone who simply enjoys the same thing as the rest of us—cars. Just, cars that are a bit older.
This appears to be that genre of owner. The license plate “ESCARGO” may not be perfectly spelled, but it’s perfectly fitting for a Citroen. I blame Connecticut and its vanity plate character limits for the lack of a T to round out the plate.
Photo: Craigslist
Take a look at this photo. Look at the car, then look at the whole scene. Notice anything? This is a true Silvia, not a 240SX, and this photo was clearly taken in Japan. Normally, that would set off warning bells, but this one actually has a straightforward story.
This Silvia was purchased by a service member while stationed in Japan, who brought it back when they rotated back home. With the logistics out of the way, we can all appreciate this gorgeously-modified S14: Carbon hood, Recaro seats, a Garrett turbo and plenty of NISMO accessories. It’s the perfect S-chassis.
Photo: Craigslist
But if you’re rear-driven, Japanese-built tastes run somehow cheaper and more expensive, maybe this IS is the solution. It’s a true luxury car, with all the leather you’d expect from Toyota’s top marquee, but it also has two driven wheels out back and a stick shift in the middle. It’s driftable, with a little effort.
Generally, drifters like the IS300, and dislike the later cars. This one, being a 250, is looked down upon. That can be a bonus: There’s no drift tax to be paid here.
Photo: Craigslist
Back in the 1980s, Harley-Davidson asked Ronald Reagan to please protect its business while it recovered from the all-too-common affliction known as “being owned by a bowling ball company.” Reagan did so, with massive taxes on high-displacement imported bikes — anything over 700ccs. Japanese manufacturers, of course, responded with bikes built to perfectly dodge that tax.
This was Kawasaki’s solution, a bike built just up to the displacement limit of Reagan’s tariffs. It’s a middle finder to protectionist trade policies, a shot across the bow of then-recovering Harley, and a gorgeous bike all at once. It’s a triple threat.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
While prowling listings for Dopest this week, I noticed an odd trend: Every single person to ever own a KTM motorcycle is selling it right now. Marketplace and Craigslist are inundated with Dukes and RC 390s, even the big adventure bikes are plentiful. Every platform, a sea of orange.
This, of course, is good news. There’s this little thing called “supply and demand,” and it means that now is a great time to get a cheap KTM. Just, make sure any 390 you buy has been well maintained — those engines are here for fun more than reliability.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
“Steve, you’ve already had multiple cooler, older pickups in this week’s Dopest. Why do you have a contractor-spec 2004 Ford in here?” Well, first off, shut up. Shut up is why. Secondly, I am simply a sucker for technical motor vehicles.
This F-350 has a bed setup for the ages. Long enough to fit lumber or motorcycles, tall enough for ladders and coiled hoses, and with enough separated drawers and cabinets to take your entire garage tool kit on the go. It’s cool! I swear!
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Where I come from (southwestern Connecticut), approximately 15 percent of all vehicles on the road are modified CR-Vs. At first I had always thought it was just a convenience thing — people own a CR-V for the kid-hauling capacity, or they inherit one from a parent, and simply modify what they have. But there are simply too many of these, modified too specifically. CR-Vs are a scene.
It’s a scene I’m very slowly beginning to understand. A mix of stance- and race-inspired mods, bumpers and aero and camber all mixed together under the shell of a midsize crossover. What I still don’t get is why. Do you own one of these? Do you love this one? Can you explain it to me?
Keyword: 1.8T-Swapped Volkswagen Jetta, Yamaha Ténéré 700, Citroen Traction Avant: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online