Photo: Craigslist
Folks, it’s the weekend once again. For me, it’s a weekend of mixed emotions—on the one hand, 100 gecs are playing in my city tonight; on the other, the suspiciously cheap motorcycle I’ve been eyeing on Facebook Marketplace sold to someone who isn’t me. That’s life, huh? All its ups and downs.
Today, though, we’re focusing on the ups. The fun stuff, the good vibes, the automotive equivalent of listening to Matt and Kim in a hammock on a sunny summer day. In other words, we’re focusing on the internet’s Dopest Cars.
Photo: Craigslist
Normally, I’m not a fan of S130 Datsuns. Normally, I’m not a fan of any Z with an American engine swap. So this Ford-powered 280ZX should, normally, never make this list. Yet, here it is. Why?
Well, because it’s not yet another 302 swap. This is a Ford 2.3 liter out of a Mustang SVO, with a “fully built drivetrain” to match. Why would someone make this swap? Why would they dump the exhaust out the fender? I have no earthly idea, and for that I love it.
Photo: Craigslist
Earlier this week, the IROC Z28 was the center of an in-depth discussion at Jalopnik Global HQ [read: Andy and I argued about whether or not they’re good.] I think my take, that the fourth-generation Camaro is underrated and in fact Cool, is the correct one. Also, these are my slides, so Andy doesn’t get to dissent here.
Look at it! Clean body lines, with just enough bodykit to differentiate it from the base models without looking absurd. It’s a sleek, hard-edged, good-looking car. I’m sure it drives, too.
Photo: Craigslist
Back before I worked here, before I moved to New York City, before I owned my GS, I came close to buying a DRZ supermoto. Given how comfortable I now am on my BMW, hopping off curbs and fighting Toyotas for lane position, it’s probably good that I didn’t buy that sumo. I would probably be in jail for Motorcycle Crimes by now.
After all, supermotos are the one true hooligan bike. Small wheels for nimble on-road handling, thumper engines for low-end torque. They’re built for crimes, and for that I love them.
Photo: Craigslist
Every once in a while, I still Google the VIN for my old FR-S. It was a good car, lightweight and balanced and tail-happy. Sure, the engine was bad, and its reliability under duress even worse, but how could you hate a car that lets you drift your way to and from the grocery store? After all, as anyone can tell you, that’s the only way to stop your tofu from breaking.
You, dear reader, could know the joy of the modern hachiroku. Grab this high-mileage example, drive it until something catastrophic happens with the engine due to loss of oil pressure at high RPMs, then K-swap it. Live your youtuber dreams.
Photo: Craigslist
Jeeps are fun. I used to have a Wrangler myself, one that I never got to take off-road, but there’s something inherently entertaining about a convertible that you can pile all your friends into. There’s also something inherently entertaining about V8 motors, which is why this YJ combines both.
This Wrangler hides a Chevy 350 behind that seven-slat grille, one with fancy cams and fuel injection. It’s also lifted, caged, and has more suspension work than most track cars. I’m not sure what rocks they’re crawling in Queens, but maybe this is just necessary to make it over that cracked, broken pavement.
Photo: Craigslist
We’re once again dipping, as we so often do here on Dopest, into the Craigslist barrel of non-running 1980s Volkswagens. I don’t know why this keeps happening, but it might have something to do with the ‘80s VW lineup being unmatched for Rad Shit. Who did it better than them? Pickups, GTIs, vans, all at one dealership.
Of course, being an ‘80s VW in Dopest, this Rabbit is broken. In fact, the engine is pulled apart, and the seller claims it hasn’t run in years. But, it’s a Volkswagen diesel from before the invention of DEF. It’ll fire right back up with a bit of elbow grease.
Photo: Craigslist
Yeah, you read that right. Yes, the picture is accurate. This is a Geo Metro that’s been turned into a snow cone truck. I cannot fathom why this was built, and the concise ad (“1995 Chevy Geo Custom made food car! this car will make you money! summer is coming perfect timing!”) gives no explanation.
It doesn’t even appear that the rear of this Geo can be sealed. It certainly doesn’t look like it folds up in any way. Who does this? This may be the most absurd vehicle I’ve seen in my life, and that’s saying something. 11/10 would daily.
Photo: Craigslist
“Gee Steve! How come your editors let you include two Datsuns?” Well, it’s because Datsuns are some of the coolest, most interesting vehicles ever brought to the U.S. market, and they all earn their inclusion in my hallowed slides. Also, I’m largely unsupervised while doing this, and obey no laws of man or god while assembling my list of cars.
Ed. note: He does not have that power, we just like to make him think he has that kind of power. – LC
This Datsun, though, is particularly special. Not only is it fully rebuilt and restores, but it’s not a U.S.-market car to begin with — it’s right-hand drive. This is a car with an interesting history, rebuilt to last through a long future. We like that kind of thing around here.
Photo: Craigslist
Volkswagen busses are cool. Volkswagen bus pickups, with their enormous beds, are even cooler. Volkswagen bus pickups that were originally used as parts vehicles for Volkswagen dealerships, and still bear their period-correct branding? Well, folks, you’ve got yourself a winning formula right there.
This bus isn’t restores, but it has been recently serviced to keep running smoothly. There’s a bit of rust that should probably be addressed, but beyond that it’s mostly patina. I think that fits the character of this truck, better than it would the prior Datsun. After all, this was a work truck — it should look like it’s done some work.
Photo: Craigslist
Every person who has ever owned a Mini Cooper S is selling it on Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace right now. Seriously, I considered doing an “Oops All Mini Cooper” Ses edition of Dopest, because there are simply that many cars available for sale. Prices are low due to the incredible supply of them for sale, and track-day season is starting. Get yourself a Cooper S, and get driving.
But why this Cooper S, when there are approximately seven billion of them listed online right now? Well, it’s simple: Rally lights. The Mini made its racing name in rally, and I am a sucker for any modern mod that harkens back to those halcyon days. More rally Minis, please.
Photo: Craigslist
The Lancia Beta may not have the acclaim of the Delta or Stratos, but that means it also doesn’t carry the prices of those cars. Instead, Betas get those beautiful classic Lancia looks, but they remain cheap — even cheaper when they, like this one, don’t run. And are missing all their paint. And need interior work. It’s a project car.
And, I’ll admit, it’s a project car where parts may be hard to source. But, because the Beta isn’t as desirable as those Lancia rally legends, you don’t need to be beholden to originality. Swap the seats for Recaros, replace the engine with a 2AR, it doesn’t matter—you’ll only make the car better, while retaining its gorgeous exterior.
Photo: Craigslist
There’s a rare medical condition called “Boxeriasis,” where you’re unable to shut up about flat-engined cars. Normally, this manifests itself as Porsche Guys who sip espresso while discussing their opinions about 964s in Guards Red (good) and anything that isn’t a 964 in Guards Red (bad), but it can also be seen in BMW motorcycle owners who refuse to admit that the 1250 GS is more of a sport tourer than a true off-roader. Fight me in the comments.
I, however, have boxeriasis in a yet odder form: Subaru fandom. I know, logically, that the EJ25 is an engine with one million flaws that gets horrible gas mileage and makes mediocre power for its displacement. I understand that they can sound good or run correctly, but never both. Yet, in my heart of hearts, I can’t stop enjoying these cars. For just 50 cents a day, you can help a Jalopnik writer who struggles with… .
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Remember National Lampoon’s Vacation? Back when we could all enjoy Clark Griswold as a family man teetering on the edge of sanity, before we all learned that Chevy Chase is apparently a nightmare on set? Well, here’s your Family Truckster.
Seriously, this is as close as you’re getting. Sure, the car used in the movie was a slightly later ‘79 Country Squire, and it was modified for shooting, but the make and model are correct and green-and-wood combo here is a near perfect match. Plus, look at those wheels! No one makes a wheel like that any more, and that’s a damn shame.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Yes, we’ve already had a Camaro today. Yes, that one is objectively better in every way. But there’s something about a ratty, beat-to-hell muscle car that I just love. I want to see this Camaro running and driving again, looking just like this.
Yes, there’s rust to fix. No, it doesn’t have “floors” in the traditional sense. But once you get things structurally sound, this Camaro has some truly beautiful patina. Think about street races past, of all the action movie shit this car probably did in its past life. You could relive those days.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
We’re all familiar with Harley-Davidson. Big-bore V-twins, heavy cruiser bikes, hogs. American rumble buggies. Loud pipes saving lives. But there was a brief time when Harley dabbled in something else — importing single-cylinder two-stroke enduro bikes from Italy.
This is a Harley, it says so on the tank, but it’s manufactured by Aermacchi. We only got these for three years in the States, but they’re a very interesting look at something Harley never really did again: Trying something different. Since the Aermacchi collaboration, H-D stuck to what it knew for decades. There was the V-Rod, sure, but a muscle cruiser isn’t that different from Harley’s bread and butter. No, this SS175 is the predecessor to the Panamerica, and nothing between.
Keyword: SVO-Swapped Datsun 280ZX, Geo Snow Cone Truck, Ford Country Squire: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online