Facebook Marketplace Folks, here on Dopest Cars, we (I) love to bring you things that are a little out of the ordinary. Sometimes I'll give you some cars that are just on the better side of banal, Civics Si or Land Cruisers, but other times we get truly wacky with it. Today is going to be a lot of the latter, if you couldn't tell from that top photo. We've got vintage Americana, we've got complete custom builds, we've got the biggest and smallest land vehicles I could find. There's a Jet Ski! A Ural! Whatever the hell is going on with this Buick Century in the top photo! If you want weird, we've got plenty of it. You're gonna love it. So come with me on an adventure through the batshit and bonkers, through the absolute weirdest stuff on four, two, six, three, or zero wheels, and through the internet's Dopest Cars. 1960 Ford Thunderbird - $2,500 Facebook Marketplace This is pretty normal for today's list, which shows you how wild things have gotten this week. A classic patina'd Thunderbird, complete with tail fins and whatever's going on with its face. I'm on the record as a longstanding lover of when a car looks messed up, and this Ford really nails the look. The ill-fitting hood, the rust, it all just adds up to a car that tells a story. You can keep your El Dorado, and the foreign car's absurd. Me, I want this beat to hell silver Thunderbird. I know this isn't the same generation as the car from the music video, but are you really going to argue that this one looks less like the Batmobile than the one Marc Cohn actually sang about? Get real. I'm going to blame that on poor music video car casting, and maintain that this is the Thunderbird that best fits that song. I will not be looking up what Marc Cohn's dad actually drove. 1987 Kawasaki Jet Ski 550 - $1,800 Facebook Marketplace Kawasaki didn't originate the idea of the personal watercraft — Bombardier's Sea-Doo beat the Kawi to market — but the company did popularize the concept. That's kind of wild, because I can't imagine a stand-up Jet Ski like this is remotely comfortable to ride. The Sea-Doo had a seat, even back in 1968! But this is the model that got popular, the one you can't even sit on? Make it make sense. When I'm out on the water, I don't want to be standing like this. I get that it allows you to lower your center of gravity from the seat to the floor, and incorporate your legs as a form of suspension — I've dirt biked and mountain biked, and I understand that both the Sea-Doo and the Jet Ski were designed by a motocrosser — but I posit that that suuuuuuuuucks. Let me sit down and hang out on the waves, I'll stand up on an as-needed basis. 2011 Mercedes Sprinter - $10,000 Facebook Marketplace I continue to be on my vanlife BS. I was thinking yesterday, in the shower, that I'm so sick of having a superego. I want a life lived out of a van, waking up with the sunrise each morning at some fresh new crag to climb. I'd be a terrible nomad, I'm too sociable to meander around in a van alone, but the temptation to leave the world behind and just spend my days chasing the immediate physical satisfaction of climbing rocks grows by the day. Imagine just living out of this Sprinter. You wake up when the sun pours into the windshield, grab your boulder pads or trad rack, and get headed out to the crag. That's it — your only responsibility is to get up a rock and back down safely. Sure, you need to find a belayer or a spotter somewhere, but surely you can do that. That's the dream. 1950 Studebaker Champion - $3,500 Facebook Marketplace What if a Volvo P1800 and a P-51 Mustang had a kid? It'd probably look a lot like this Studebaker. I love this faded blue color, I adore the reverse-hinged rear doors, but something about the front end just seems too jet set era for my tastes. Maybe your tastes, though, run a little more '50s than mine. If so, this Champion is likely perfect. The seller claims it runs and drives, and the ad includes video of the flathead six cylinder purring away — you could probably drive it home from the sale. Apparently it needs some undisclosed work to "really make it roadworthy," which you should probably get some clarity on before you fork over your cash, but how bad could it really be? Cars had like sixteen parts back in those days, before electronic fuel injection and ECUs and CANbus. How many of them could possible be going wrong? Custom Minibike - $500 Facebook Marketplace Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, Haw. 2005 Chevrolet Corvette - $28,000 Facebook Marketplace The C6 is the best-looking generation of the Corvette — any topic on which Andy and I agree must be incontrovertible fact — but this one's a little bit off. The widebody honestly works, I'm not against that, but the headlights and hood are where this build loses me. That's a lot of hood venting for what seems to be a totally stock engine, and it clearly doesn't all fit together right. A lot of show without a lot of accompanying go, is the problem. Still, swap out that hood and those too-modern headlights for some more OE-looking replacements, and you'll have yourseld a hell of a sports car here. Formula Drift is big on Corvettes now, with C6s joining the S-chassis and Toyobarus sliding around corners, and you should get this example as sideways as possible — as often as you can. It's what a widebody Corvette wants, and what a widebody Corvette deserves. 1973 Ford L9000 - $30,000 Facebook Marketplace I know we did Ford earlier, with the Thunderbird, but this L9000 was just too pretty to pass up. I'm known for my love of old American trucks, in stark contrast to my general vibe of "the smaller the vehicle the better," and this tow truck is just a gorgeous example. The color, the chrome accents, even the painted signage all around the body. Trucks should be this pretty again. Sure, most of us have no need for an enormous tow truck, but surely one of you could put this thing to good use. Would you rather have this for your tow operation, or something built out of a modern Silverado HD chassis? I'd take this any day of the week, with its round eyes and approachable color appealing to me far more than any angry eyebrow, fragile masculinity modern tow rig. This L9000 isn't compensating for anything. 1987 Mazda B2000 - $10,000 Facebook Marketplace Take a Mazda pickup. Remove the roof. Replace the back of the cab with a stereo amplifier. Put a giant trunk lid over the bed, then stick a wing on that lid. Put a Gurney cap on the wing. What does that get you? This fascinating B2000 in Massachusetts. Why would you do any of that? I have absolutely no clue, but I'm glad someone did. The seller does claim that this B2000 is a convertible, and they're sort of right. The hardtop can be reinstalled, the ad includes a photo of it sitting on a garage floor, but it doesn't exactly look easy. I would wager that's a heavy roof to be lugging around. The ad includes absolutely no other references to how buckwild this Mazda is, and for that I thank it. This should be normal. Imagine how much better the world would be if you could buy convertible hardtop pickups with trunk lids at a dealer. 2011 Ural Gear Up - $6,000 Facebook Marketplace It's kind of fascinating to me that I've never seen this leather trunk accessory arrangement on a Ural before. I see these all the time on Moto Guzzis, leather tank straps in accent colors to protect the paint from belt or zipper scratches, and they seem to be almost a rite of passage for older guys with weird engine layouts on their bikes. Ural seems to exclusively sell to eccentric weirdos, so why aren't more of them into this look? I mean, the argument can't be that it looks bad. This Gear Up looks great with the accessory pouches, even if the whole arrangement doesn't really match the color of the rest of the bike's leather. If you could reupholster the seats to match that lighter, redder brown color, you'd really have something gorgeous here. For six grand, plus the cost of some leather and an upholsterer's time, you should absolutely finish the job here. 2004 Buick Century - $3,500 Facebook Marketplace This is the one you've been waiting for, the crown jewel of batshit Facebook Marketplace finds: A 2004 Buick Century with a poorly-attached hood scoop, "universal" lift kit, bull bar with jagged teeth that cover the fog lights (which themselves cover the grille), and a blood splatter paint job. It has bolted-on fender flares! It's got a roof rack with yet more fogs! There's something in back that's either a light-up CB whip or just a light that looks like a CB whip! I understand that this is meant to be a zombie apocalypse car (there's a reason the underglow is green, rather than matching the red coloring of the blood paint), but doing this build to such a banal domestic sedan fascinates me. This isn't the last of the V8 interceptors here, it's just some Buick. You should buy this, just to ask the builder why they did it.
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