Facebook Marketplace Friends, has this been a long week for you? I feel like everyone I know has had a real wild one these past seven days. Well, whether you've had a rough week or not, I think you deserve a reward. Something to make up for the fact that you just spent five whole days working, and seven whole days devoid of a new installment of this hallowed week-end listing roundup. However did you survive? I won't ask what you had to do in order to survive such conditions; what feats of incredible bravery or despicable cruelty you resorted to, how many members of your party you had to eat. Instead, I'll just do what I can to make things better for you. Specifically, I'll show you a bunch of cool cars and motorcycles I found on Facebook Marketplace, and just sort of hope that helps with everything. If not, well, your problems are probably above my paygrade. Welcome to the week's Dopest Cars. 2001 BMW 325i - $4,890 Facebook Marketplace If you're a longtime Dopest reader, you may wonder what this 325i is doing in here. I'm known for my love of the 3-series, sure, but I traditionally hew towards beat-to-hell old shitboxes with a random assortment of body panels that can't be tied back to any single year, trim level, or color. This is all true, I will always love a BMW more the worse it gets But I also understand that I am not all people, and some folks just want a good wagon. Maybe it's just because I was digging through wagon listings earlier today, or because this 325i reminds me of a first-generation X5 my parents had in my youth, but this car speaks to me. I still think it would look better drifted to hell and repeatedly smashed into walls, sure, but that's left as an exercise for the buyer. 1984 Toyota Corolla AE86 - $6,000 Facebook Marketplace We've really entered a hell of a world, here, where an SR5 AE86 with no engine can ask $6,000 and be considered a good price. A Corolla from 1984 — and not even the sportiest model — is beloved enough by enthusiasts to command absurd sums over four decades after its launch. That's something special, and a sign that everyone should be watching more anime. It's defining culture, from the automotive world to every restaurant in Brazil that has a wall adorned with Goku. What makes this particular hachiroku a deal is less the car itself, and more everything else included with it. There are a ton of parts available here to the right buyer, making this essentially a kit car that's far cheaper than decking out a stock AE86 yourself — provided this seller's Monday to Friday daily driver, Saturday and Sunday Gridlife racer setup is what you're looking for. If you're shopping for AE86es, though, it probably is. 2002 Boss Hoss - $25,000 Facebook Marketplace This listing isn't for you, actually. It's for Andy. Hey, Andy, I found a motorcycle with a V8. Will you buy a bike now? 1984 Mercedes-Benz 190e - $13,300 Facebook Marketplace Back in the day, the 190e was what you got when you couldn't afford a real Mercedes — at least, according to folks I've met who were around in the '80s. Today, though, it's one of the prettiest Mercedes-Benz cars on the road. Arguably the prettiest, though I'm sure someone will read that and immediately scroll to the bottom to comment about how actually, some other Mercedes looked better, and then someone else will reply to say that the first person's Benz was owned by Hitler. The circle of life. I can only find two visual flaws with this 190e. First, the fog lights should be yellow, although I don't feel as strongly about that here — the all-white bodywork makes the white fogs look appropriate. Second is the wheels, which are simply not monobloc enough for this. Color match some AMG wheels, and you'll have a truly gorgeous setup. 2009 Suzuki GZ250 - $580 Facebook Marketplace Fun little bit of Amber lore: This was the first motorcycle I ever spent real time on, way back in my MSF course in Rochester, New York. Okay, that's maybe the least-fun bit of Amber lore there is — the weird kinks or dating history generally get more of a reaction — but it still goes to show why I have something of an affinity for these little 250s. This particular GZ250 is clearly an ex-MSF bike itself, judging by the numbers on the back, and the seller says it doesn't run. With just one cylinder, though, this likely won't be a difficult fix — check that the petcock's not clogged, clean out the carb, check that it's getting spark, and by then you'll probably have the thing running. If this is still listed for this little by the time I'm done moving, with all those associated costs, I may very well buy this bike myself just to fix up. 1982 Dodge Ramcharger - $1,500 Facebook Marketplace I love an understated Facebook ad, one that's short and sweet and not at all descriptive. This one just says, in its entirety: Runs and drives. Needs some tlc 1500 takes it home. Yeah, man, the front end's been bashed in and the car looks like it needs you to call a Bondulance. I would say it needs some TLC. I think "some" may even be significantly understating the amount of TLC that this Ramcharger needs. Still, for $1,500, are you going to get a better classic SUV? Probably not. In fact, the wonky front end here gives it a sort of character, if you look at cars the way I do. This one's certainly seen some life, and that makes me like it all the more. Just, maybe make sure that dilapidated grille isn't getting in the way of the driver's side headlight. That little bit of TLC is probably very necessary. 1981 Chevrolet K5 Blazer - $3,200 Facebook Marketplace Speaking of beat-up old SUVs with unhelpfully short ad copy, we have this K5 Blazer in Massachusetts. At least here we get a better idea of the K5's exterior condition than we did with the Ramcharger, with photos that clearly show rust around a good chunk of the truck's exterior. As a patina lover, it brings me no joy to say this, but some of that rust looks like it really needs to be patched. I'm not sure what it is about the K5 specifically — maybe just that I shopped for them when I was a teenager, and sorting price low to high gives you the worst options first — but these trucks have always felt so fragile to me when rust gets involved. They seem to jump straight from "a little bit of door rust" to entire panels in desperate need of serious repair, with no in-between stages of cool rusted-out looks. 2000 Daihatsu Naked - $6,500 Facebook Marketplace This isn't the first Daihatsu Naked we've had in recent weeks on Dopest, and it likely won't be the last. This, though, provides a very interesting look into the world of selling a car right now: This kei class import, a 26 year old car never sold in the States with its steering wheel on the wrong side, is advertised as getting over 30 miles to the gallon. Are enthusiasts, out shopping for Japanese cars, getting this concerned about gas mileage? Kei cars are often traded around for the novelty moreso than the practicality, but this Naked's ad barely mentions the import before getting into the banalities of life with the Daihatsu. The fuel economy, the recent maintenance, everything speaks to a sales pitch that positions the Naked as a perfectly practical regular car for the cost-conscious driver — except, of course, for the steering wheel and the radio and the parts availability. 2006 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S - $6,500 Facebook Marketplace Cayenne Turbo Ses are $6,500 cars now. This doesn't even appear to be a terribly bad one — sure, the tail lights are smoked, but that's not the end of the world when you're getting a twin turbo V8 that makes 520 horsepower. This car costs $112,000 back in 2006, and 20 years later it can be had for the price of a solid beginner motorcycle. The seller mentions an aftermarket exhaust, and says this Cayenne is used as a daily. I'd be shocked if it wasn't, honestly. Are there people who keep their Cayennes immaculate, only for driving on sunny days like their 930s and 964s? I sort of thought this was supposed to be the rainy-day car, for when conditions were too rough to bust out the rest of your fleet (not enough cloud cover, can't risk UV hurting the paint). When you buy this Cayenne, you should continue the daily-driven tradition. 1983 Response Police Tank - $47,000 Facebook Marketplace I will be truly, deathly honest with you all: When I saw the thumbnail for this listing, I thought this was a storm chasing truck. I built my expectations up for someone's homemade Dominator or TIV, and was instead faced with some weird offcut branch of the military-industrial complex. You should fix that by bringing this possibly Dodge D350-based truck into the heart of an EF-5. Send photos when you do, I want to see them. I also have to mention the Taz thing. This car is covered in iconography of the Tasmanian devil, and I cannot fathom what possible commonality would cause an owner to link a Looney Tune to what appears to be some sort of chassis-cab with armor and cop lights. Is Taz a cop? A robber? Do I need the Bondulance? You can all see this, right? This listing isn't a fever dream from my delirious, 1:54 AM ming?