That Car Expert Friend Could Wreck a Good DealRyan Lugo - MotorTrendPeople are scared to death of car salespeople.They think the minute they set foot on a car lot, somebody's gonna throw a net over 'em, drag 'em into a back room, shove some paperwork under their noses, and the next thing they know they're saddled up in a brand new Zorch for two grand a month for the rest of their lives.(I wish it was that easy!)That Tough Act? Salespeople Know the Real ReasonThat fear manifests itself in many ways. One way is a gruff, aggressive attitude. Whenever a customer walks into the showroom with a chip on their shoulder, a seasoned car salesperson sees what's behind the tough facade: fear. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of being tricked into paying too much or buying a lemon.AdvertisementAdvertisementHave we in the car biz earned our reputation? Yes, we have. It used to be worse back in the '60s and '70s, but it still happens, even today.getty imagesA classic way fear manifests itself is when a customer brings a friend or relative to the dealership to help them buy a car. In sales we call this friend the "third base coach." If you're unfamiliar with baseball, a third base coach is a coach who stands near the third base line, telling players when it's time to run for home or hold tight at third. They aren't a player, but they use hand signals to tell the players what to do. (These folks are also called "car attorneys" in some places.)Whatever you call them, from the customer's point of view, they're there to make sure they don't get screwed. From the salesperson's point of view, they're there to kill car deals.Now, there's nothing wrong with bringing a friend along for moral support. The problem is, most of the time, these coaches don't really help the customer. They mean well, but they usually end up doing more harm than good.Horsepower Talk Doesn't Help You Buy a Family CarWhen someone asks a friend to accompany them to a car dealership, it's usually because they think the friend knows something about cars. Maybe they drive a sports car or work on cars. The problem is, most people have a tendency to focus on the things they care about, which might not be what the buyer cares about.AdvertisementAdvertisement"How many cubic inches that thing got under the hood?" Sling Blade asks."It's liters, dude. We don't do cubic inches anymore."getty imagesSo, while your neighbor the mechanic talks to the salesperson about all the gnarly aspects of the car, you don't get to find out about all the things you care about, like will it fit a car seat in the back? Is there enough cargo room for the kids and all the gear you need to carry to the volleyball games? What's the safety rating? And so on.The YouTuber Who Nearly Drove the Deal Off a CliffAn extreme example of this happened to me not long ago when a buyer—I'll call her Priya— brought her buddy the YouTuber to the dealership. This guy—who shall remain nameless—has his very own channel where he reviews cars. His sole interest in being there, other than helping himself to all the free drinks and junk food he could carry, was to get behind the wheel of the car Priya was buying and impress me with his driving prowess. I had to practically kick him out of the driver's seat to let her drive.AdvertisementAdvertisement"This is the line you need to take in this turn," he explained as she and I both grabbed the "oh, shoot" handles.What I would suggest to every car buyer is, instead of bringing your buddy the car expert to the dealership, bring your best friend—someone who may or may not know cars, but who does know you and what you want. That way your needs take center stage.The Fastest Way to Blow Up a Good DealThe second problem with bringing a car attorney to a dealership is when you get down to talking money and they start behaving like they really are attorneys, or as if they have some financial stake in the transaction when they don't. In the case of Priya and the YouTuber, every time I asked her a question, he'd jump in and answer it for her before she could even open her mouth. It got so bad, I finally stopped and asked him, "Are you buying this car? Or her?"The general rule is, if you aren't helping them pay for it, keep your mouth shut. It's their money and their decision. I've seen a lot of overzealous coaches, thinking they're protecting their friend, talk customers out of mind-blowingly good deals. In fact, after spending a whole day going from dealership to dealership with her YouTuber pal and getting nowhere, Priya came back to see me a few days later without him and took the deal we offered her.getty imagesHowever, the worst thing you can do is enlist the help of a third base coach and not bring them to the dealership with you. Believe it or not, some folks go shopping for a car without their expert and then, at the very last moment, after the test drive and after the numbers have been presented, call up their coach and ask them, "Should I do it?"AdvertisementAdvertisementHuman nature is amazingly consistent and predictable. If you call a friend out of the blue and ask them if you should buy a $35,000 car, what do you expect them to say?Do you expect them to say, "Yes, absolutely. Go for it!" No.The safest thing to say is always "No." And 99 percent of the time, when you ask someone who hasn't been involved in the whole process—who hasn't even seen the car—if you should buy it, they're going to say no. Why? Because they don't want to be blamed if it turns out to be a bad decision. They don't want to be the one who made you pay too much for that piece of junk. It could ruin a friendship.The truth is, you really don't need a third base coach. If you're one of those people who are just a little bit intimidated by buying a car, guess what? Join the club. I've been selling cars for 20 years, and I get nervous talking to salespeople, too.AdvertisementAdvertisementIf you find yourself feeling that way, remember this. Nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do (unless you're in the Army or prison). Car dealers aren't hypnotists. We have no special powers. If you start to feel like you're being pressured or things are moving too fast, just stop and say, "You know what? I'm not ready to make a decision about this right now. I'm going to go home and think about it. I'll call you again in three days." And leave. You have that right. Second, keep this in mind: They need you more than you need them. As President Trump is so fond of saying, you have all the cards. The customer is the one with the power. The problem is, most customers don't realize it.