A 2026 Mazda MX-5 in an industrial setting, wearing the new Zinc Green Metallic color. - MazdaSlogans are simple one-liners conceived to not only burrow themselves into the depths of your brain for the remainder of your existence, but to convince consumers to buy a product. From the golden arches of McDonald's to the automakers of Detroit, if you were to rattle around in your memory for a slogan or two, it's fairly guaranteed you'll remember some. Now ask yourself, do you think those slogans were entirely accurate?My thoughts immediately go to some of the slogans from my youth. For instance, Mazda's "Zoom Zoom," which I lovingly associate with the Miata. Cadillac in the late '90s had the unfortunate Catera experiment with the tagline "The Caddy that zigs," but the Catera never really zigged, nor zagged, nor impressed much of anyone aside from a small subset of buyers who could say "I own a Cadillac" thanks to its affordability.So, what if we created more honest slogans for these carmakers? I asked you over the weekend to comment with your best pitches and friends, I had some good laughs while compiling the best below. I hope you enjoy them as much as we did.AdvertisementAdvertisementRead more: 5 Iconic Poster Cars That Just Aren't That GoodDodgeA white Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Redeye with a matte black hood, in an abandoned garage warehouse building with lots of windows. - StellantisDODGE: Forget the alimony payment. You need a Hemi.ANDDodge: Every law is only a suggestion.From Gordon S. and ColoradoOnTheFlyFordA Ford F-150's grille faintly lit, but a light bar is illuminated across the middle through the blue oval logo. The shadowed truck is backlit through the industrial bridge structure it is under. - FordAdvertisementAdvertisementFORD: "We love our cars so much we call them back everyday."ANDFord: (slogan recalled)ANDFord – Quality is a job. ... Just not oursANDFord: Ready. Set. Recall.AdvertisementAdvertisementFrom Michael, Winter Cat, combined JBodyBuilder with MyKinjaHandleWontFit, and Michael EldridgeJaguarA white slatted-looking wall with a part in the middle that reads "jaguar" in its lowercase font in gold. - JaguarJaguar. We do hope you enjoy your loaner.From GreySpaceMazdaA grey Mazda MX-5 RF in the front of an ornate European building. - MazdaMazda: When you want to show you know cars better than your neighbor, but can't afford a Porsche.AdvertisementAdvertisementFrom potbellyjoe (and fully supported by multiple commenters)KiaA greyish-beige Kia Sportage crossover just emerges from under a bridge on a desert highway. - KiaKia: You Can Always Trade Up Later.From 05TrainNissanA green Nissan Altima with a black roof driving down a metropolitan city street. - NissanNissan: we accept combined credit scores!AdvertisementAdvertisementANDNissan: When you really can't afford a new car.ANDNissan Altima: Infotainment comes pre-programmed with GPS located bail bondsmen near you!From TheDuke, LBJsPNS, and Winter CatStellantisA grey 2026 Alfa Romeo Tonale leads the way into a curve ahead of another Tonale in white. - StellantisStellantis: We've tried nothing, and we're still out of ideas.AdvertisementAdvertisementFrom MrMcGeeIn3DToyotaA blue-grey 2026 Toyota Rav 4 parked on a stone driveway with an older stone-built home in the background. - ToyotaToyota: Our cars might be over priced and under equipped. But they are reliableANDToyota: Our cars might be over priced and under equipped. But they *were reliable 10 years ago....Fixed. Let's be real, they're still living off their decade old reliability, they're cranking out the same crap as everyone else these days.ANDTOYOTA: Basic, but usually reliable (please don't look at the Tundra)AdvertisementAdvertisementFrom Gerrit DeBoer, #Racecar, and Gordon S.ChevroletA Red 2027 Chevrolet Silverado climbing a rocky mountain-like terrain in the desert. - ChevroletChevy Trucks: We will run poorly for longer than anything else will run at all.From Tahoe GuySlateA grey Slate truck with black cap wheels and a grey slate truck with the cab cover and tire cover on the hatch, set inside an abandoned warehouse. - SlateSlate: This is a truck for thingsCheck out slate.auto for accessory words to customize your slogan!AdvertisementAdvertisementFrom Rick BungiroMitsubishiA shadowy-lit Mitsubishi Outlander in a black void. - MitsubishiMitsubishi: "We're still here! And we're just as surprised as you are!"From carstenWant more like this? Join the Jalopnik newsletter to get the latest auto news sent straight to your inbox, and add us as a preferred search source on Google.Read the original article on Jalopnik.