Koenigsegg Jesko Stomps Records for ¼, ½ MileYouTube / KoenigseggOkay, fine, "Koenigsegg makes fast car" is the sort of dog-bites-man news that barely qualifies as such. It's right up there with "water is wet." Christian von Koenigsegg has been redefining the boundaries of speed with his boutique machines for a third of a century now; everyone who gives even the shadow of a damn about automobiles is at least passingly familiar with his work.But it's the degree of speed that matters in the splitting-hairs world of performance cars, so while nobody might be surprised that the Swedish hypercar wizards have created yet another superlative-chasing machine, the figures it lays down still boggle the mind.Maybe cold hard stats are your jam, so let me cut to the chase: 8.54 seconds at 190 miles per hour. That's the quarter-mile time and speed set by the Jesko Absolut last weekend at Koenigsegg's ex-fighter base facility. For context, a Bugatti Chiron Super Sport needs 9.1 seconds to cover those 1420 feet, and it'll be almost 30 mph slower when it hits the line. The Ferrari LaFerrari does the run in 9.8 seconds and 150 mph. Even the mighty new Corvette ZR1X takes 8.68 seconds and 159 mph, and that's on a prepped dragstrip ... and with the advantage of an all-wheel drive takeoff. The Jesko Absolut is absolutely rear-wheel drive only, and did its work on a retired runway while wearing street tires.The Absolut's half-mile performance is no less astounding, with the car covering the distance in just 12.76 seconds. By the end of that time, the 'Egg is traveling 232 miles per hour. All this, by the way, with factory test driver Markus Lundh steering with one hand and filming with his phone with the other.AdvertisementAdvertisementIf you want to challenge the Jesko Absolut in these straight-line sprints, you'll have to do so with something electric, but even then it's going to be tough. The all-wheel drive Rimac Nevera R has a quicker time in the quarter, clocking a 7.9-second run, but it'll still be a couple mph behind the speedy Swede at the finish line. The McMurtry Spierling can also pip the 'Egg with a 7.97-second quarter-mile sprint, but considering it tops out at 190 mph, the best it could do is match the Koenigsegg at the 1320-ft mark—and fall behind from there on out.The new runs are courtesy of, believe it or not, a software update that the carmaker says will be rolling out to the entire Jesko Absolut fleet via over-the-air update. So if you're already lucky enough to have one of these multimillion-dollar hypercars parked in your garage, well, you're bound to soon find a happy little surprise brightening up a day that already was off to a good start the moment you fired up your Koenigsegg.You Might Also LikeIf You Can Only Own One Car, Make It One of TheseThese Are the Most Popular Cars by State