Fiat Class is a funny thing in the U.S. I'm an affluent, out-of-touch coastal because I blog about cars on the internet and leased an electric vehicle after seeing it advertised for $159 a month. The fact that I live in Georgia, don't make anywhere close to six figures, and buy groceries at a Kroger with a Carhartt section is completely irrelevant. If you're looking for a real man of the people, you want Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, a wealthy former airline lobbyist who's busy pushing a glorified golf cart as a solution to America's affordability crisis, like we all live in gated beach communities or something. The glorified golf cart in question is the Fiat Topolino, a tiny Low-Speed Vehicle that makes my 500e look like a Chevrolet Suburban in comparison. It starts at $14,985 including destination, can only be legally driven on private property unless you install the not-yet-available street-legal conversion kit, can't go faster than 25 mph, gets up to 46 miles on a full charge, and takes five hours to charge. Have kids? Better pick a favorite, because the Topolino only seats two. In fact, at 99.6 inches long, it's an entire 43 inches shorter than my Fiat. Almost four feet! But sure, Sean. The Fiat Topolino is really going to help with that whole "affordability crisis" thing. President Trump should be incredibly proud he convinced Stellantis to send us a vehicle that Fiat says on its website is "by definition a vehicle in that it moves and can transport people and goods. But the Topolino wouldn't classify as a car." The Topolino is, however, "perfect for private and gated communities or anywhere short, leisurely cruises are welcome." In case you're still confused about who the tiny Fiat is for, the page also says the "Topolino is best suited for country clubs, resorts, music and film festivals, yacht clubs, downtown areas and beach towns." You know, those regular, everyday activities that regular Americans in Real America do all the time. Dignity, schmignity Trump said TINY CARS, Stellantis said HOW TINY? 🚙@POTUS: “Inexpensive, safe, fuel efficient and, quite simply, AMAZING"Small, affordable cars are officially COMING TO AMERICA 🇺🇸 https://t.co/eBqvNmrC97— Secretary Sean Duffy (@SecDuffy) July 8, 2026 It would be easy to jump on Duffy's use of the word "car" here, when Fiat says the Topolino's an actual car, but honestly, who cares? People use "car" to mean "vehicle" all the time, and pretending not to understand descriptive language is some "I still double-space after periods" faux-intellectual nonsense. The main issue is that since the Topolino will officially be classified as a Low-Speed Vehicle once you add the no-cost conversion kit, it can't be driven on roads with posted speed limits higher than 35 mph. If you live in New England and want something fun to leave at your vacation home on Nantucket, the Topolino is probably perfect. If you live in Peachtree City, Georgia, why not? Unfortunately for Sean Duffy, most Americans don't have millions of airline lobbying and TV dollars to spend on vacation homes in ultra-wealthy communities, and most of us live places where speed limits are higher than 35 mph. It's neat that people in dense, walkable areas will be able to buy a glorified e-bike with a roof for when it rains, and the U.S. would be a better place with more micromobility options available, but if you want a small EV that takes too long to charge and doesn't offer much range, at least a far cheaper, used first-gen 500e has air conditioning. Maybe Duffy made the classic mistake of posting about something he didn't actually read, but doesn't he have a J.D. from an expensive private law school? Since I never finished my bachelor's degree, the lawyers in the comments will have to let me know if I'm wrong here, but I'm pretty sure you don't have to get into a T14 school to get "reading is important" beaten into you during law school. Alternatively, he could just be performing for Trump's approval. I mean, just the other day, he tweeted that bike lanes are DEI. If he's a serious person, he sure doesn't act like it. Then again, I'm just an out-of-touch coastal elite, so what would I know?
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