What was this machine? How is it doing such insane accelerations past my modern-age powerful motorcycle?
BHPian cr4nkshaft recently shared this with other enthusiasts.
Before we start, this is not a restoration thread. This is also not a review thread.
If anything, this is a slice-of-life piece summarizing the last 6 months of my life. If you like lazy rambling and motorcycles, read on.
How my mind works
I have always tried to live my life a little closer to the safe side.
This is not because I do not love the wild side – rather the opposite. When I was getting assembled in the divine workshop the assembler missed one crucial bit, the self-control valve. It takes a very little push for me to be sprinting down a mountain path towards a certain abyss, with a wide smile on my face. I realise this behaviour far too late, sitting at the bottom of the aforementioned abyss that whatever I started was too much too fast, and I should have taken it slow.
Hence, as mentioned in the first line I try to live my life a little closer to the safe side. It doesn’t always work; for example, I got my current motorcycle within 3 hours of intending to get it (after 8 years of not owning a two-wheeler) – but trust me, I do try.
My CB350, named Kraken through crowdsourcing
Then again, there is also the law of attraction at play in my life. You must have heard of the popular theory of the “Law of Attraction” – right?
No, I am not talking about the law of universal gravitation theorised by the unlucky chap who had an apple fall on his head – and instead of trying to eat it or make a facetime call, thought really hard about the why. I am talking about the “new thought” belief that like attracts like, you can manifest things which you really want – or if you are inclined to refer to Bollywood, you know the line from Shah Rukh Khan that has the words “shiddat” and “kaynat” in it.
The devil on my shoulders
The set of people I usually interact with outside of work are anything but normal, in the usual sense of the word. Some get into the mood of buying old cars when winter sets in, some irk the hell out of snowflakes on social media for the fun of it, and some – the particular one important to this story is on an evangelical mission of keeping old two-stroke motorcycles on roads.
BHPian boniver, it has been theorised (by BHPian predatorwheelz), might not be entirely human. No one knows about his early childhood or what transpired in his toddler phase – his life is known only in bits and pieces like the Stig from Top Gear. He runs on chips and coke, doesn’t eat vegetables, quotes 50 km distances for rides and takes people 250 kms away and redlines in every gear, every vehicle at every possible opportunity. I barely knew this guy 6 months back but now we talk almost daily. How many people do you know who make an inline-6 cheese sandwich? The law of attraction checks out, being a weirdo will attract other weirdos.
The inline-6 cheese sandwich, patent pending
The first interaction I had with boniver was over a WhatsApp chat group, in June 2022. I didn’t even know his name back then, just saw some guy asking for validation on the group about a perfectly sane plan that he had cooked up. He had lovingly restored a Suzuki AX100 in Bangalore, his stint there was over so he wants to get it back to Kolkata. Makes perfect sense till now, right? Here’s the kicker, he wants to ride it back to Kolkata, alone, with his (albeit frugal) luggage. The WhatsApp group, as expected according to LoA was full of other sane people who cheered him on, and offered support like going halfway towards Bangalore from Kolkata to greet him, and so on. That (mis)adventure was cut short due to some bad weather (you can, and I guess you have, read more about it here.
Holy smokes, it’s a two-stroke!
Sometime later both he and the AX was in Kolkata with support from Indian railways, and there was talk about an early morning ride in the same group. A lot of people expressed interest but in the end, it came down to three, BHPian ritkon with his FZ-S, me with my CB350 and boniver with his AX.
In December 2022, we took a short ride (around 150 kms total) to a place called Begor Mukh, which is the divergence point of the rivers Damodar and Mundeswari. There’s not a lot to see, except cultivated land, sandy riverbed, a rickety bamboo bridge – which we crossed by foot but locals were crossing on 2 wheelers with their wife, children, mother-in-law and pet dog in tow – bless their courage! That ride was my reintroduction to two strokes.
In childhood I must have come across them but have no recollection, the only two-wheelers I remember are an Enfield with a sidecar which my uncle had, and an M80 which the family doctor used. I was aware of the fact that two strokes are as cool as bee’s knees and RX100 is a thing but had no idea why. Throughout the ride, I had multiple instances when I thought something was wrong with my CB350 because I could hear a shrill metallic rasp, only to see boniver zipping past me on the 6-lane national highway, full clip, not a care in the world.
First close interaction with a two-stroke
My interest was piqued. What was this machine? How is it doing such insane accelerations past my modern-age powerful ride, that too with a large alien on top of it? Does it run on petrol or jet fuel? What sort of black magic you-know-what-ery is this?
The second interaction was at the parking garage of BHPian (and another fellow weirdo) ron82x3, in January 2023. He was still doing his MBA back then, and looking at the job prospects was also running a free car wash scheme whenever he came back home for holidays. He is placed at a corporate now, but the free car wash side gig is still on – “MBA Car Wash wala” will be looking for angel investors any day.
The AX had just finished having a bath, and I was giving it lustful stares. Detecting a potential victim for the two-stroke bug, boniver asked me if I want to take it for a ride. I didn’t need any coaxing and was on it in a flash. First feeling, the motorcycle is barely there! Coming from a 184 kg (though well-balanced) machine this felt like nothing, as if I was straddling a cycle. The key turned, a few mis-kicks and the machine started its now-outlawed music. Put it in gear, rolled the throttle and let the clutch go – and I was reminded that it doesn’t matter what capacity, weight or size is the thing between your legs, what it can do is completely independent of those facts. (Any innuendo detected in the previous line is completely on you, you have a dirty mind)
I went off along the local roads and came back after quite some time. boniver, ron82x3 and Rohan (boniver’s friend, not a BHPian) were sure I had met with an accident somewhere. Well, I had, but not the physical kind. My missing self-control valve was the downfall once again, and I was running down the philosophical slope towards the inevitable abyss. Getting down, I quoted “It’s a death trap” with a wide grin plastered across my face.
“It’s a death trap” – a propaganda video by boniver
Somewhere in his alien lair, boniver got signals from the cabal of two-strokes that phase one is successful, he should initiate phase 2. Man, this guy would do such great work being a propaganda artist, if he was not wasting time around OLX and FB marketplace looking for old two-strokes. But that is what he does, and the outcomes are hand-delivered to the WhatsApp chats of the active victim at that point in time – which was me.
I used to get YouTube videos for two strokes, motorcycles up for sale from both OLX and FB marketplace in dozens those days. Most of them were not even good propositions, some looked too rundown, some were atrociously priced, and some were modified to hell. However the point was not to get those bikes, the point was to get my mind hooked on the idea of owning a two-stroke, to make me understand how easy and fuss-free it is to procure, restore and maintain these things, how having a two-stroke is a noble venture, how two-strokes can bring world peace. And I fell for it, hook, line and sinker.
How I met her
Long story short, around March 2023 end we came upon an RX100 up for sale which did not have the usual red flags. It did look shabby but not unsalvageable, it wasn’t modified too much and it came with clean papers. I was super busy with office work, and lacked the necessary skills to identify any issues with it if I went to check it physically – therefore boniver, so kind of him, dropped off from a meeting to go check it out. 30 minutes later he calls me and informs the bike looks okay, the engine had a weird sound but we would have to go for a rebuild anyway so it will be taken care of, and I can go for it if I want to. Thanks to UPI the financial transactions went through and it was delivered by the seller then and there to boniver’s bungalow in Barrackpore.
(He may try to disown the bungalow, so here’s the post – from the horse’s mouth)
Not too shabby
Not 2 shabby
First ride was a mixed bag, but the silly smile sums it up
The next steps were to restore the bike to its glory days. boniver believes in mechanical fitness; and while that is a perfectly rational school of thought it did not sit well with me. I wanted to get some of the cosmetic parts sorted as well, which ended up with most of the cosmetic parts getting sorted.
First order of business was searching for a capable garage which will take up this job. The motorcycle FNGs take up two-stroke jobs quite eagerly knowing these are done more from the heart than from the head – hence a chance of a fat bill. However, if the mechanics are not up for it, it might be disastrous for the bike. I remembered seeing a couple of two strokes at a house in my locality and approached that person, who directed me to an FNG which was not very close to where I stay but apparently, the guy in charge was a master of his craft.
Before bringing the motorcycle over (as boniver’s place and mine are around 20 kms apart) I went to talk to Mr. Lalu, proprietor of Jagannath Garage – and found him to be a very colourful character, as you will get to know in the coming paragraphs. Take the guy – with his pencil moustache and gold-rimmed glasses sitting at the end of his nose – out of the grease-stained coveralls, put him in brown trousers and a crisp white shirt; one can mistake him as a professor. As I got to know slowly, like all good craftsmen, he brings his own beliefs and strong opinions to the job. You may not like it as it might go against your own wishes at times, but at least you know this person is equally passionate about the job as yours.
Bringing the bike over to the garage was also a task for me, as this was the first time I was going to ride it. It did not have front brakes (i.e. the lever worked fine but there was no braking action), made a real racket while running, had no mirrors and I had to do it in peak traffic. With a couple of close shaves (as I have a bad habit of putting my right foot down while stopping, hence no rear braking) we got it to Jagannath Garage. boniver and Rohan accompanied me on the AX and R15, we must have made quite an oddball combination on the road that day.
On the way to FNG
Hype shot by boniver on the way to FNG
At the FNG
The restoration
The parts list started from the engine. The engine was abused, and the level of abuse revealed itself as the bike was stripped of parts. Also, the bike was RX100 on paper but the engine was of RX135, with the YEIS airbox – this meant there were two possibilities, either it was RX135 which was converted to RX100 for the macho factor, or it was RX100 with the engine swapped. I did not want to get too much into it, just wanted it mechanically and cosmetically back in shape, and fast. It got back in shape on both counts eventually, but it definitely did not get done fast. Getting a two-stroke restored is a long game, as I got to know. Issues will reveal themselves as things progress, parts will be scarce, they might not fit even when you get them and in some cases, it might not be available at all, which would mean it is time for some jugaad.
The chassis was fine with minimal rusting, mudguards had rust patches cut out and metal pieces welded to cover the holes, electricals looked shabby but worked fine, 2T pump was not working as expected. The engine was the most surprising part, as we found out the oil drain hole was welded shut and the engine had a lot of mSeal in it. Most likely the bike had gone for a failed engine overhaul at some point in its life, post which oil leaks had started. Instead of taking it to a good garage, it was taken at some moonlighting plumber, whose solution to oil leaks was mSeal at all places. Mr. L was heartbroken – I could see it in his eyes. He wanted to mourn for a day or two even before he decided what should be the next course of action. He recovered eventually with a few well-chosen quotes from Bhagavad Gita delivered by me, and took up his spanner like Arjun.
A sign of impending bad news
The list of items started arriving thick and fast over phone calls, and soon I had a footlong list to get through. boniver and me went to Wellington bike market one day and visited MR Automobiles, the authorised Yamaha parts dealer.
That place is literally a madhouse, with mechanics and FNG guys leaning over the counter to get the attention of one person who knows every part – and I mean every one – of all Yamaha two wheelers produced in India till date. It was really a spectacle to behold, one person being fed with the colloquial terms of motorcycle parts (e.g. “lock cover pinion patti”) or shown parts photos from WhatsApp chats, and quoting out part numbers from heart which he was punching into a computer. This generates a list of items to be procured which is handed over to the backroom boys. They fish out the parts from the warehouse and send them over to the billing counter where payment and delivery goes through.
Not just a human database, the man from the first counter is a teacher of sorts as well. I heard him stopping the whole process for a minute to lecture a young FNG upstart on the model years and updates for Yamaha RayZ, how many clips the front cowl has, and why he thinks the colour of the part shown to him doesn’t match with the year quoted by the requestor – so something’s got to give!
I have made up my mind to go back there one day just to hang around the counter and take in the proceedings, and try to identify the method in the madness that goes on, if there is any.
Happy faces outside MR Automobiles
Delivering the goodies to Mr. Lalu
After we were done, we delivered the parts to Mr. L who went over each item with the passion of a Michelin star restaurant’s head chef going over the day’s produce. Some items were appreciated, some begrudgingly accepted and some fought over. This is where Mr. L’s opinions came into play. For example, we had got a full carrier which was not to his taste and we spent quite some time convincing him this is indeed what I want for this bike. This pattern repeated over the next one and a half month of the restoration job, if the issues were mechanical I had to get more stuff and if they were cosmetic I had to have design discussions with Mr. L – and also get more stuff of course.
I will call out a few things I had to get done even if they were not needed, like getting the perfectly fine rims and spokes replaced, changing the working headlight, replacing the handlebar – not because anything was wrong with them but because they looked shabby. I will get calls late into the night from Mr. L going over parts which were messing up the look which he had in his dream – and the next day I will place orders for those. I had to order two sets of monograms as the first one I got did not have screws along with it, and the man with the spanner outright rejected the use of the old screws as the chrome had worn off. He also tried to strong arm me to not use mirrors – because “buro buro lage” (“it looks old”), but on that I held firm. The final state the bike got to is a labour of love both Mr. L and me, no puns intended. Of course I needed to supply the money and patience – but I have to say this bike is as much Mr. L’s and boniver’s as it is mine – just don’t let those two hear it.
A huge shoutout is due to MotoLegacy at this point, a two-stroke parts supplier who have everything going from them. Quick responses over WhatsApp, pics of parts whenever requested, trying to figure out which part mechanic meant from the phrases used by him, fast shipping post delivery – you get it all that you need from an online outfit who you are interacting over the internet. Without them this would have taken a lot longer, for sure. They, along with boniver and Mr. L was in the top 5 WhatsApp contacts for me in the past couple of months.
Got the RR and CDI gifted from BHPian Dhruvritzed, which were not assembly line stuff. These parts are finished at a different level and I think I won’t have to replace them in my or the bike’s lifetime.
The final battle over the restoration was a grand 3-way one between me, boniver and Mr. L about the colour of choice. The spanner-man was on the maroon/black camp as he is a stickler for doing a stock job, but us BHPians were on the blue camp. Even there, boniver wanted to get a darker blue which is closer to the one RX100 came with, while I wanted to go for a comparatively lighter shade, as the RX100 original one looks close to black after dark. I put my foot down on this with an emotional plea, told Mr. L that the rest of the bike has been done to his taste so the colour has to suit mine, and conveniently changed the shade of blue one week when boniver was out of town. Mr. L tried one last time before the spray went on, calling me from the painter’s shade (“rong ta neel ee hobe to?”/”sure you want to go with the blue?”) but I could deter him from any final change with a curt “dada, ar na” (“not any more, please”).
The last mile
The bike was close to completion in the last couple of weeks, but not without niggles.
Mr. L kept finding out small parts which needed change/cleaning/refurbishment and work dragged on. The paint guy went AWOL for a week with the parts locked in his garage almirah – props for security but negatives for professionalism.
I would expect a call from Mr. L at 1030 PM every day, and they followed a similar script. He would share some pics over WhatsApp, and while I was happy with the progress made he will broach the topic of just one more change that is a must – otherwise, “bhalo lagbe na dada” (“It won’t feel nice”).
I tried my best to make him happy and the same from his end – in the end, the relation between a passionate mechanic and a smitten owner is sort of like marriage, you win some, you lose some – but the ride is awesome!
Finally one day in late April, I get the call from Mr. L to hear the 3 magic words – “Ready hoye geche” (“It’s done”).
I drop all my meetings on the pretext of some terrible tragedy and arrive at the FNG in 20 minutes, and take the first ride. The colour looks lovely to me, and even Mr. L admits it looks different that the usual RXs on the road. The absconding painter has done a good job with the finish and applying the pinstriping sticker.
Close to completion
FNG doggo approves colour
It feels the same as the AX in terms of weight and feel, but the ride is crazier. If that was a death trap, this was ACME corporations of death traps – I would have to learn to tame this one! Crazy – that’s the word I chose to use to sum it up, which brings us to the naming.
The christening
When it comes to naming automobiles, I am not too keen.
My Polo went a long time without a name, and when VW dieselgate came to fore I named it “MoMa” – short for Monoxide Madness – though the name was rarely used.
My current ride, the Brezza is called “Beja” in respect to another artist with a spanner, Mr. Tarak who refers to all Balenos as “Bleno” and Accents as “Assent”. Thanks to the welcome message feature of the car, it chimes “Beja is ready” whenever cranked – so that name is stuck.
The CB350 doesn’t have a name, but the day I got it I posted “Release the Kraken” on social media. That was in reference to a footballer being signed to my favourite club, but people thought otherwise – so it is Kraken, maybe?
With this, I had the idea that this one should have a name starting with “K”. My love for the sing-song tone of dakhni Urdu, the Netflix series Rana Naidu, MotoLegacy – a major player in the restoration – being located in Hyderabad – all these factors came into play and I decided to name this one ‘Kirak’. For the uninitiated, here’s the extract from Google – “Kirak is a slang word used for a person or a thing which is awesome and crazy”, so perfect fit – right?
The delivery
Waited till the next morning after hearing the magic words, as I wanted to take Kirak home in daylight. This meant any potential flaw would be easily visible, and boniver will also have the time to drop by to lend an expert pair of eyes. ron82x3 also joined us uninvited, as his gym is right opposite the FNG. He told us it was the racket made by Kirak that brought him down – could he be the next victim?
As luck would have it, one of my relatives was to be released from the hospital on that day and I had to leave for a trip two days after – so the window was pretty small. Somehow managed to finish the paperwork at the hospital and get over to the garage. As I get there, I see almost all hands at the FNG fawning over Kirak to get her looking her best.
All hands on deck
I had to get a shot of Mr. L as well, but the suave and confident spanner man got shy all of a sudden, citing reasons like his shirt is not clean enough, he is sweating a lot etc. As I came to know over the last months that convincing this man will take a lot of time and energy, decided to take a spy shot of him. I think a man can not look better at any moment, compared to the one when he’s doing honest work – so here is he in all his glory.
The marvellous Mr. L
boniver did a great job of doing another hype video, that’s his thing. I am sure it will be used to lure some other unsuspecting soul into the cabal of two-strokes. In case you are reading this after being bitten by the bug – welcome, brother!
Rounding this up with a couple of parting shots, thank you for reading through this – may you live long and prosper!
Kirak with Kraken (under wraps)
The silly grin gets wider
Key-rak
Here’s to a long ride together
Keyword: Yamaha RX100: How a Honda CB350 owner fell in love with 2-stroke bikes