I’ve got a job for you, dear reader. Right now, pull out your phone, and open your texts. Find the five people you most recently texted, and ask them all the same simple question: What’s the best color for a car? If they say black, gray, or silver, delete their number — you deserve better. Blue, red, or green are better answers, yellow better still, but there’s only one proper choice: Purple.
In honor of the automotive world’s greatest hue, today’s installment of Dopest Cars is Oops! All Purple — every single vehicle in these hallowed slides is painted in God’s favorite vehicular shade. After all, if a car is done up in some boring, banal color, can it truly be called the Dopest?
Remember when Sons of Anarchy was the hottest show on television? Neither do I, but I remember when it was a show on television. Half the cast rode Dynas, forever cementing the bike in our public consciousness as the singular option for cool, rugged guys who want to do crimes, and also do Hamlet to Ron Perlman.
This Dyna is far better than Jax’s, for one simple reason: It’s purple. Jax’s bikes were always boring black. C’mon, man, get some taste.
This Mazda2's paint isn’t in great shape, but it is purple — earning it a spot on today’s list. It also has a head unit that advertises not MP3 compatibility, not MP4s, but “HD MP5.” I was unaware German small-caliber firearms were available in high definition, as that’s not normally a term that refers to real-world objects, but sure. Why not. HD MP5.
This Mazda2 may not look the best, but it’s a lightweight flickable manual-transmission hatchback. And, above all else, it’s purple. What more do you want in a daily?
The seller of this Bug-based buggy knows for sure that it’s not a Manx, but they don’t seem to know much else. The engine might be 1600ccs, it has a new carburetor that doesn’t seem to work right — it’s all a mystery. But it’s a mystery draped in purple, and that means a mystery worth solving.
If you’re knowledgeable about classic Bugs, this could be a good buy. It’s a classic ran-when-parked situation, but air-cooled VW experts always seem to be able to revive these cars in short order. Why waste that wrenching effort on a car in any other color?
You could argue that the Merlot Mica of 1995 M-Edition Miatas is more burgundy than purple. You’d be wrong, but there’s enough evidence on your side to make a coherent argument — just not a convincing one. Merlot Mica is purple, and this Miata wears it well.
Of course, that’s to be expected from this car’s condition. It has just 27,000 miles on the clock — even the wood shift knob looks fresh from the showroom floor. The seller does mention a new top, which is nice to see after so many years of seasonal temperature swings, but it all looks OEM. If you’ve ever wanted a factory-fresh ‘95 Miata, this may be your best bet.
This MGB claims a similarly low 60,000 miles, but it’s far from original. The seller claims its paint is Plum Crazy — a Mopar color, but one of the better purples you’ll find on a car. The trunk appears to fit poorly, and the doors may not quite match the color of the fenders, but who cares? It’s a ragtop that smells like pre-cat motoring, decked out in a gorgeous hue.
The interior looks about as mint as one would expect from a 60,000-mile classic — the leather is broken-in, but far from worn. The carpets are neat and tidy, but the shift knob is worn and there’s an aftermarket radio slotted into the dash. This is a car that’s been used, loved, and maintained. And painted purple.
This Kobe Bryant-themed CBR has been on and off Craigslist for what feels like decades now, and it just seemed wrong to do a purple installment of Dopest without including it. Just look at the attention to detail here — the shift levers are gold, the rear spring is bright yellow, even the chain is painted to match. The bike loses points, however, for its protective sliders. Why silver? Was gold not an option?
Regardless, there’s enough care put into this CBR to call it a true vision. Maybe not your vision, maybe not even your taste, but then it isn’t for you. It’s for Kobe fans. Deeply, incredibly dedicated Kobe fans. Maybe it’s not a huge audience.
Yes, I know, we already had a Bug-based off-roader earlier today. But that one wore a Manx-looking body, while this still bears VW sheet metal — a true Baja Bug. We like Baja Bugs ‘round these parts, and you won’t stop me from including this one.
Plus, how can you not love this little guy? The suspension is absurd, the tailpipe is near straight vertical, and the rear window is entirely blocked by heat exchangers. It’s cobbled together in the best way, and it makes the car feel unique and loved. It’s good.
This LeMans may not have a “rust-free body,” or an “intact interior,” or a “working engine.” But, y’know what it does have? Purple paint. At least, in the parts of the body that haven’t been overrun by corrosion and rot. Listen, it’s not a show car.
But it could be a fun project, if you’re interested. The 400 cubic inch V8 apparently turns over by hand, so nothing in the engine is seized — it’s just waiting for you to bring it back from the dead. Which it will then return to within months, due to rot, but still. You’ll get a fun few months out of it.
This is no ordinary M3. It’s not even an ordinary E36, or an ordinary purple E36. Look at that front plate frame, those clear side marker lights. This is a Euro-spec M3, meaning it got the additional power that our meager American E36es couldn’t be trusted with. Plus, this color is called Techno Violet. What’s better than that?
Admittedly, this BMW has seen some years. They weren’t too rough, though — a good detail ought to restore that paint to its former glory. Once that’s done, you’ll have one of the enthusiast world’s favorite M cars in its perfect, peak form.
This Chevelle “resto-mode” is a subtler, deeper purple. It looks almost black in the shade, but direct light shows a deep violet hue with specs of metal flake that truly pop against the dark background. It carries its original engine, but the transmission and suspension appear to have been upgraded to more modern parts. Thankfully, unlike many restomods, it’s still a stick.
1968 was a fine vintage for the Chevelle. Not as aggressive as the ‘70, the car’s best-looking year, but classy and interesting in equal measure. It’s not quite as in-your-face as the later car, which fits with its more subdued purple tones. A cohesive package, this one is.
We’re once again tiptoeing into the gray area between purple and maroon here with this FJ Cruiser, but I’ll give it a pass — we already don’t have any Civics in this slideshow, if I also omitted the traditional Toyota off-roader I think my editors would have me arrested. And this FJ is truly an off-roader — the steel front and rear bumpers, the winch, and the condition of the undercarriage all point towards a truck that’s done some real work.
True, I’ll admit, the wheels look more mall-crawler than beadlock. The seller claims the FJ’s original wheels are included in the deal, decked out with studded snow tires. Swap those to these designer wheels, throw some all-terrains on the stock wheels, and take this thing out into the woods. It’s where it wants to be.
The ad for this CB550 is short and sweet: “Vintage high tech cycle over 10k invested.” I’m not really sure what’s so high-tech about a UJM, particularly one done up as a minimalist brat, but I won’t complain — brats are great, and I’ll take them in high-tech or low-tech form.
As with many dedicated brat bikes, it’s unclear where the battery lives on this Honda — if there is one at all. It may be a purely kick-start situation, in order to get that classic open-triangle aesthetic beneath the flat seat. Such are the sacrifices we make for fashion.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
This Hijet won’t win any awards for photography, since no shot of the ad seems to show more than a single corner of the car at a time, but it will win another award: Being a purple key van. In my worldview, that alone is worth celebrating — and should be a celebration unto itself.
This Daihatsu appears to be freshly imported, which means you should already be thinking about swapping in a new radio. Once you get one that’s set up in English, and plays nice with American radio frequencies, you’ll be set. That’s all you need to make a Hijet into the perfect, unassailable daily driver.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
This Samurai wears some fairly tacky wheels, but we can forgive that simply for its incredible paint. This is an all-time shade of purple, folks. A masterpiece in hue, saturation, and lightness — unparalleled by any other vehicle on this list. Haphazard modernization means nothing when put against this brilliant purple tone.
The seller claims it “runs good for the age,” but at this point I don’t care. This Samurai is art. Whether it moves or not is inconsequential, it’s perfect to look at even standing still. But, of course, it’s better if you can use it — and it appears that you can. And you should.
Photo: Facebook Marketplace
Again, we have a great truck in a great color besieged by gaudy wheels. We’re lucky that these are so easy to remove — a set of black steelies would return this Pickup to its former glory. It’s not an ostentatious truck, it’s meant to be a diligent worker. Just, a diligent worker with an affinity for purple.
This Toyota gets bonus points for the nearly color-matched steering wheel, as well as the on brand plushie sitting on the bench seat. The ad doesn’t specify whether that plushie is included in the deal, but I think there’s room to bargain on it. You could at least ask.
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Keyword: Volkswagen Baja Bug, Toyota FJ Cruiser, Daihatsu HiJet: The Dopest Cars I Found for Sale Online