He shoots, it misses
As a means of transport for the well-heeled farmer nothing at all, says Jeremy Clarkson, comes close to a full-fat Range Rover — not even its harder-edged sibling, the Range Rover Sport.
Writing his column in The Sunday Times Magazine at the weekend, the Clarkson’s Farm and The Grand Tour presenter said that when it comes to ferrying logs, dogs, shotguns and “fat men in tweed shorts”, the Range Rover is simply unmatched.
“It’s like an iPhone. I know you can buy other devices but you don’t, do you, because the fact is they’re not as good,” said Clarkson.
Notorious reliability issues and ease of theft notwithstanding, Jeremy is an ardent devotee of the Range Rover, currently owning two — a battered old one for farm work and a fourth-generation model, which is currently used by girlfriend Lisa Hogan as a daily driver. He recently looked into replacing the latter, but was shocked at the prices of the all-new model.
“I wanted another Range Rover because I adore them. Until I saw that prices for a well-specced one with a proper engine [read: a big V8] start at about £130,000. I was amazed. So amazed that I thought I’d better have a look instead at the new Range Rover Sport.”
But Clarkson found the Sport rather lacking in nous when it came to off-road countryside pursuits when he took it to a game shoot.
“Sure, it had all the buttons that can be pressed to tailor the car for the prevailing conditions, but there wasn’t a setting that enabled it to deal with the combination of big, fat, low-profile tyres and wet grass. So I spent the day slithering about like everyone else.”
When Driving.co.uk editor Will Dron took his previous-generation Range Rover Sport PHEV off-road in 2021, he had a very different experience and the car proved eminently capable, even on standard tyres. It did break down on the M4 heading home afterwards, mind you.
Clarkson was even less impressed with the new Sport’s boot, which he said isn’t wide enough to accommodate his 12-bore shotgun. An issue to which we can all relate, we’re sure.
The deal-breaker for Clarkson, though, was the lack of a split-folding tailgate.
“It means that when you’re out and about there’s nowhere to sit,” he wrote. “And as you stand there with your back throbbing and your knees begging for mercy, you’ll realise that you’ve bought second best.”
The split tailgate of a 2022 Range Rover
The Range Rover Sport was more Cheshire than Chipping Norton, he concluded.
“Unnecessarily heavy, unnecessarily tall and unnecessarily thirsty. Sure, the V8 in the new Sport will average about 24.5mpg, which is remarkable, really, but imagine how much more you’d get if the car weren’t so … big.”
There were good points, though. The Range Rover Sport’s on-road performance, for example, with “amazing” handling.
“You can happily stick it into a bend knowing that a billion algorithms will happen to make sure you don’t come out on the other side on your roof.”
The sheer supercharged pace, too. “You get 523 horsepowers, which means you can get from 0 to 62mph in less than five seconds, and then keep on going all the way to 155mph.
“But if you do that you won’t get 24.5mpg. Instead you’ll get a call from some seismologists in California asking what on earth you’re up to. And if you wouldn’t mind stopping.”
It should be pointed out, however, that despite Jeremy’s attempts to cross-shop the two, the Range Rover and the Range Rover Sport are not in fact, natural rivals.
As Clarkson himself notes, there is a significant price disparity between the two vehicles; entry level Sports start from around the £80,000 mark, with “basic” Range Rovers from just shy of £100,000.
Specifying a “proper” engine puts the price of the Sport to closer to £100,000 and the bigger Range Rover to well over £130,000.
Despite that eye-watering price tag, Clarkson said the Range Rover was still the only option that appealed to him, regardless of the few items of merit he found in the Sport.
“It may be a good car, and I’m sure it’ll go down well in the footballing suburbs of Britain. But you have to know that if you buy one, or any of its rivals, you didn’t buy the real thing. Certainly I think I’m going to have to do that, unless I can find one to steal.”
- After reading what Jeremy Clarkson thinks of the new Range Rover Sport, you might like to check out this Classic Clarkson review of the Bugatti Veyron
- Jeremy Clarkson would choose the McLaren Artura over a Ferrari 296 GTB
- Jeremy Clarkson ordered to shut Diddly Squat restaurant and café after he ‘ignored’ council warnings
Keyword: Jeremy Clarkson finds Range Rover Sport no match for its big brother when it comes to carrying his shotgun