Rope comes in handy when the door handles fail on your rusty Michigan Buick. See how the solution works!
Ah, field expedient repairs! The junkyard is an excellent place to find examples of low-budget fixes applied to cars by their final owners—owners who just wanted to squeeze a few more miles out of their rides.
For example, you want a moon roof on your Paseo, or a replacement outside door handle for your Corolla or Prizm, or an American-flag-themed rear “glass” for your Quest made out of colored duct tape, or Grand Am side glass with smoker’s vent, or a sketchy Accord trailer hitch.
But what if both outside door handles on your ’91 Buick Regal Gran Sport coupe break off, and you have neither the time nor motivation to go to the junkyard and find replacement hardware? What then? Here’s what one resourceful Regal GS owner in Colorado did.
The Regal Gran Sport coupe was quite the prestigious car 31 years back, retailing for a co0l $19,096 (just about 40 grand in 2022 dollars). This one depreciated pretty hard over the decades, however.
I found some Otsego County, Michigan, dog licenses inside, so we can assume a Michigander drove this car to the Denver region.
As befits a car from the rustiest region of the Rust Belt, there’s plenty of corrosion repair involving window screen, body filler, and spray paint. Does this ever work in the long term? It does not.
What’s the first thing you do when you arrive in Colorado from the Upper Midwest? Hit the first cannabis dispensary you see, of course, and then immortalize the glorious moment by slapping a souvenir sticker on your Buick’s dashboard. These days, Michigan vipers can buy legal weed without leaving their beautiful state, but such was not the case a few years ago.
I wanted to take a look inside this car, but both outside door handles (located on the B pillars, in the style of its Pontiac Grand Prix and Cutlass Supreme cousins) had snapped off years back. What to do if you own such a car?
Why, you slice off a piece of handy rope, tie it to the inside door latch handle, and feed it out through a narrow gap in the not-quite-closed driver’s-door window. That’s what you do!
It appears there was only enough rope for the driver’s-side door, so shoelaces were pressed into service for the passenger’s side.
Then you make sure both the rope and shoelaces are fed out through the window gaps before you close the doors after parking… because if you forget, you won’t be able to get back inside without either smashing a window or spending fiddly hours with a bent coat hanger to grab an inside handle or lock button.
Keyword: How to Cope When Your Buick Coupe Has No Door Handles