ONTARIO, Canada, the year 2040—
Little Ronnie: Hey, Great Grandpa Bleakney, can you get out your old scrapbook and tell me some more stories about those noisy infernal-combustion cars you used to drive when you had teeth?
GGB: Well, sure, Ronnie. They were called internal-combustion cars, and just before they were outlawed, some manufacturers went completely nuts and made the craziest things imaginable. Oh, here’s a good one! The Dodge Challenger Widebody Hellcat Redeye Jailbreak. That had to be the best middle finger ever waved at that dang herd of electric cars. What an exit, I tell ya. Went off into the glorious sunset in a haze of tire-smoke and CO2. And the racket that 807-horsepower supercharged 6.2L V8 made! Like a stabbed hyena strapped to a love-sick moose. I can still hear it.
GGB: Like I said, Dodge had gone off the deep end. By this time, the Challenger was ancient, but it didn’t matter. People kept buying ’em, so the unhinged SRT engineers at Dodge kept upping the ante. Wider body, bigger tires, outrageous paint colours, and, of course, more power. But this big ol’ boat was lovable and managed to blend everyday comfort with true Depends-filling acceleration. Mash the happy pedal at 100 km/h and the Jailbreak would spin its tires and get looser than a ten-gallon hat on a bald-headed squirrel. Ha! And launch control. Good gawd! They should have called it launch-your-lunch control. My friend in the back seat nearly barfed. I guess I shoulda warned him…
LR: What’s a happy pedal? What are Depends?
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
GGB: Pay attention, son. This gets complicated. If memory serves me correctly, the Jailbreak option was $1,295, and only applied to the Hellcat Redeye Widebody, and it upped the horsepower from 797 to 807. It also unlocked a bunch of factory custom options including paint colours, striping, seats, badging, and wheels. See this one in the picture? That stripe cost $1,245, the seats were Hammerhead Grey, and the paint was called Smoke Show. I remember putting on a real good smoke show thanks to Line Lock, which locked up the front brakes so you could spin the rear wheels ‘til those expensive 305/35ZR20 Pirelli P Zeros turned into vaporized rubber.
LR: Why would you want to do that, Great Grandpa? That sounds stupid and juvenile.
GGB: And your point being? Haha! But seriously, there was nothing terribly serious about the Dodge Challenger Widebody Hellcat Redeye Jailbreak. It was a glorious, rolling cartoon character that made little sense, and that’s why we loved it. That, and its 807 horsepower and 707 lb-ft of tire-shredding torque.
LR: But with the Jailbreak being so big and heavy, and built on an antediluvian, albeit continually updated Mercedes-Benz platform, was this musclebound throwback just a dumb straight-line denizen, or did it manage to show a modicum of alacrity when the tarmac turned sinuous?
GGB: Say what?
LR: Could it handle?
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
GGB: Surprisingly, yes. Sure, it wasn’t as sharp as a Mustang or Camaro, but it was well-sorted, showing a balanced chassis, sharp turn-in, and nice steering feel. The Widebody got adaptive competition suspension. Factor in the powerful brakes and the excellent eight-speed ZF gearbox, and the Jailbreak made for a very enjoyable package. Plus it looked seriously bad-ass.
LR: How much did all this bad-assness cost, Great Grandpa?
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak
2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak Photo by Peter Bleakney
GGB: Watch your language, son. Ha! All this insanity didn’t come cheap. The base price for the 2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat was $81,265, and this Jailbreak checked in at $126,370 after the $27,295 Widebody package, $4,495 Laguna Leather package, and bunch of other stuff. But, dang, I wish I’d bought one. Actually, I wish I bought ten. Do you know how much these things are going for now? Mother of pearl, I’d be rich I tell ya. Rich!
GGB: Well, Ronnie, with reference to the aforementioned happy pedal, were you to press real hard on it, by the time you yelled “Dodge Challenger WTF Widebody Hellcat Jeeezuz Redeye I Want My Mommy Holy Snappin’ Turtles Jailbreak!!!” you could be arrested, tried, jailed, and, with any luck, broken out.
LR: What does “WTF” stand for, Great Grandpa?
GGB: Um, ah—”Wide Tires Fried!”
Keyword: Car Review: 2022 Dodge Challenger SRT Hellcat Redeye Widebody Jailbreak